MrBishop
Well-Known Member
Québec or Canada? <<
That, my friends, is the portrait of Québec!
- In a busy Parisian café, a tourist is sitting alone, enjoying a crème caramel. Another tourist approaches:
- Me sit here?
- No problem...
- Thank you, very nice...
- Are you on vacation?
- Me, I arrive yesterday...
- What country are you from?
- Norway. You?
- From Québec.
- Québec? Me not know Québec...
- Québec... near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great Lakes...
- No, me not know these places.
- Never mind then, I'm from Canada...
- Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why you tell me you come from Québec?
- Because, my first country is Québec!
- Oh, you were born in Québec and immigrated to Canada....
- No, no, I was born in Québec and I stay in Québec...
- Oh, then your father is from Canada?
- No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody, they come from Québec....
- So why you say Canada?
- For Christ sake, because you say you don't know where is Québec!
- OK, but if you say you not know Norway, me I not say that my country is Japan...
- Shit! Canada isn't Japan. Canada, it's my country.
- Oh, your country not Québec anymore?...
- My country is Québec. But my country, it can be Canada too, if the person I speak to not know where is Québec, Tabarnak!
- Me not understand...
- Look, it's simple: I come from the Province of Québec, in the country of Canada.
- Ok! But me not ask you what province you're from, I ask you what country. Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I answer you Norway when you ask me what country I come from...
- I know, I'm not stupid, Câlisse! But me, when they ask me what country I come from, I answer Québec. Even if it's the name of my province. For me, it's my country.
- Oh, now I understand. You are a separatist, you want your Quebec province to be your country...
- Are you crazy, Hostie? I don't want to know nothing from that shit!
- Me, I not understand anything anymore.
- I tell you before, it's simple! You ask me what country I come from, I answer Québec because Québec is my country, but I don't really want it
- to be my country, it would be too much trouble. I just want to say it.
- So, why don't you just let me say it?
- Me all mix up. You have passport from what country: Québec or Canada?
- CANADA, Hostie!
- So why you not tell me Canada right away?
- Because it don't feel right. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it's not my home all that. Home,
- it's La Famille Plouffe, Séraphin Poudrier, La P'tite Vie, Félix Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montréal, Les Bougons... Do you understand???
- Less and less...
- Listen, forget all that shit. Ask me another question.
- Ok, what town you come from?
- Mmm..., I don't know anymore...
- You not know what town you come from?
- Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it merge with another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the town that was
- supposed to be my town...
- Oh, that very complicated! When you write your address, what do you write?
- I don't know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but Hull changed to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before stopping to write Hull to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals they pass a law that make it ok for Gatineau to be Hull again, but I don't know if we have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when the 3 years are passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and after we write Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we remerge with Gatineau, then we'll have to write Gatineau for 3 years.
- I leave now; I have hurt in my head...
- It's so simple Tabarnak: My town is Hull, my country is Québec. But if you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada.
- OK, I think I understand!
- It's about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if you come around where I live; maybe you come and see me...
- OK, but where? Hull in Québec or Gatineau in Canada?
- You're a pain in the ass. Forget the whole thing
That, my friends, is the portrait of Québec!
