Scraping the bottom of the barrel

[Professur]

This space is reserved for discussing the horrible, awful films you love to hate, or hate to love. You know, the trainwreck movies. The ones so awful, you can't look away.


Yesterday, I saw a DVD cover at a distance that gnawed at my memories until I just had to go look up close. Naturally, the cover and title were in french, but something was familiar ... but I couldn't place it exactly while standing in line at the cash. The line was moving forward, and I had to decide quick ... grab it, or pass. Starred Robert Urich. $9.98 ... ah, frig it, in the basket. If nothing else, it'll put the kids to sleep ....




I get home and unpack and get a look at the film case. I've a sneaking suspicion what it is, but .....I tear off the cellophane ... still no hint to the english title. Peek to see if the case sleeve is reversible (usually is if there's no english on the outside) Nope. ... Crack open the case .... and the disk is labeled in english. OH MY GAWD .... what have I done. .... I can't have just bought this. I mean ... they can't seriously have published this to disk. .....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO




So naturally, I had to watch it. It was just as horrible as my nightmares recall.

 

[MrBishop]

...and the name of this movie is...?

 

[chcr]

Ice Pirates.

 

[Gato_Solo]

I get home and unpack and get a look at the film case. I've a sneaking suspicion what it is, but .....I tear off the cellophane ... still no hint to the english title. Peek to see if the case sleeve is reversible (usually is if there's no english on the outside) Nope. ... Crack open the case .... and the disk is labeled in english. OH MY GAWD .... what have I done. .... I can't have just bought this. I mean ... they can't seriously have published this to disk. .....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO




So naturally, I had to watch it. It was just as horrible as my nightmares recall.

That was a classic and you know it...heathen...

"Why did you paint him black?"
"I wanted him to be perfect."

 

[Professur]

http://www.priceminister.com/offer/buy/47525989/Les-Guerriers-Des-Etoiles-DVD-Zone-2.html

The horror, oh the horror.

 

[2minkey]

the death wish films, with charles bronson, are brilliant when approached as comedy. also helps if you're stoned.

 

[tonksy]

That'll help almost anything

 

[Luis G]

The happening has to be the most horrible movie I've seen this year. The performances were awful, even worse than the ones you get in mexican soap operas.

Also, many scenes were actually so awful that you get to think if they got them from youtube videos (e.g. the lions cage part).

Horrible piece of shit, i'll never get those precious minutes of my life back.

 

[chcr]

That was a classic and you know it...heathen...

"Why did you paint him black?"
"I wanted him to be perfect."

I might also remind everyone that Ron Perlman, Angelica Huston and John Carradine were all in that movie.