The Birds & Bees

[kuulani]

My 15-year old sister has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is the son of my boyfriend's cousin. Because he's always around the house and they're so close, I had to give my sis "the talk."

My theory is that if they wanna do it, they're gonna do it. So I told her that although I think she's too young, if she thinks she's responsible enough to have sex with this boy, she better be responsible enough to either ask me for some condoms or go to the store and buy some for herself.

 

[Leslie]

I dread the talk!

Good thinking though, if they're gonna, they're gonna. Maybe leaving a box where she knows where it is might be an idea, they may not plan ahead

 

[ris]

my dad was good for the talk, he said that if i was ever going to do it then there was a spare bed at his house. he'd rather he knew where we were and that we were responsible then off in a crappy hotel or something.

 

[kuulani]

My dad tried to give my "the talk" my senior year in high school as we were driving on the highway.

It was a cute talk, but I was like ... "ummm, dad, it's a bit too late for this ..."

 

[unclehobart]

My dad gave me the talk at 9. I told him to not bother. I was fully versed by then. The only thing he could have helped me with at that point was giving me a few phone numbers.

 

[Nixy]

I never got a talk. Once, like a year after brainsoft and I started going out my aunt said to me that my mom was worried and thought maybe I shoudl start taking birthcontrol pills. I told my aunt there was nothing to worry about, I had no need for them cause I wasn't having sex (truth is I was and I was already taking them) but if I did need them I knew where the clinic was and coudl get them for $8 a month. Nothing has ever been said since, by anyone.

 

[Justintime]

Never got it, they knew i knew about it, got teased by em for not 'getting any' little they knew i got 'some' already

 

[nalani]

My 'rents were always cool about sexual matters .. got the talk pretty early - but mostly the mechanics of it .. how a baby is made ... the other stuff ... the little "tricks" and "how to's" didn't come until later ... early adulthood ... of course, my father wasn't as open as my mom ..he'd usually say something stoopid like ... wait ... I think my post would be deleted for saying it .. oh well ..bygones .. he'd say something like "if it's in and you don't know it, then you've got a problem" .. he was crude, indeed .. but he was my dad

 

[kuulani]

My favorite line of your mum's is "if you don't use it, you lose it."

 

[nalani]

hehehe ... how crude are my parents? Dang!

 

[Professur]

My theory is that if they wanna do it, they're gonna do it. So I told her that although I think she's too young, if she thinks she's responsible enough to have sex with this boy, she better be responsible enough to either ask me for some condoms or go to the store and buy some for herself.

Go one better. Buy a box, now. Put them in your bedside table drawer. Then tell her that they're there, and that, if she needs, to go ahead. It might seem to be an invitation, but it beats the alternative.

 

[freako104]

it was more my mom who told me about it although she didnt say much other than use protection adn the consequences. as far as ku's post thats very smart on your behalf. if they want to they will as long as they know all the consequences and make sure the condoms are there and easy to remember where just in case it comes up.

 

[kuulani]

Go one better. Buy a box, now. Put them in your bedside table drawer. Then tell her that they're there, and that, if she needs, to go ahead. It might seem to be an invitation, but it beats the alternative.

I was worried that would seem like an invitation too ... but then I figured at least it'll be there, and she'll more likely use one if its there ('cause I'm betting she'll be too afraid to ask me for one or too embarrassed to go and buy one at the store).

At least this is good parenting practice for me for when my daughter becomes a teen. Of course, who knows if I'll go out and buy my daughter a box of condoms

 

[Professur]

Get her a diaphram or on the pill. That way, she doesn't have to worry that you're keeping count.

 

[MitchSchaft]

If you think 15 is too young, they're probably already doing it!

 

[kuulani]

I may be called naive, but I don't think they're doing yet. Maybe soon (I hope not), but not yet. nalani, what do you think?

At least I can say I really like this boy. He's a great kid.

 

[MitchSchaft]

Well, I don't want to get into the details about how it can be done. There's no way you can tell. It only takes a couple minutes and you don't have to be nekid!

 

[Inkara1]

My mom told me that she'd have bought me some condoms if she knew what size I needed.

I got started on sex ed fairly early; my mom had a hysterectomy when I was in the first grade, so I had a lot of questions related to that.

 

[kuulani]

You know, I thought I was prepared to see my sister with a boyfriend ... I thought I was being a cool sister, giving her "the talk" & offering to give her protection ...

The other day I walked into a room and saw my sister lying in the lap of her boyfriend, and it really hit home. My sister is a teenager with a boyfriend. It's not that innocent anymore

Yikes. I mean, if they are that comfortable with each other to do that in front of the WHOLE family ... how comfortable are they alone?!?! I'm not even that comfortable to do that in front of the family.

 

[Nixy]