the most disgusting weekend ever

Discussion in 'Love & Lifestyles' started by 2minkey, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. 2minkey

    2minkey bootlicker

    girlfriend went on a girl's weekend. i vowed, simply because i could, to give up all forms of personal hygiene for the weekend, with the exception of tooth-brushing.

    thursday morning was the last instance of bathing. i omitted underarm deoderant. thursday evening i was sweating a lot, having spent a good chunk of happy hour in the bright sunlight. i really started to notice my own scent.

    friday i went to a party. there was lots of alcohol there. and some other things. i proceeded to drink plenty, but not to the point where i going to get sick. or so i thought. it's a good thing my friend volunteered to drive me home without delay, because if i'd waited for a cab, i would have painted it. i get home, come inside, and immediately begin to feel the urge. i run upstairs, vomiting in my own mouth in the bathroom entryway, but in a classy way, saving the main payload for porcelain. and oh did it bloom. true projectile vomiting. i was pleased with myself for aiming so well, despite the fact that my head was several feet from the toidy.

    when i woke up the next morning, i didn't feel so bad. then i went into the bathroom... minor puke spray in the bathroom entry. then the toilet. not just the toilet, but everything around it - walls and all - was covered in puke, with the olive tapenade adding some nice color.

    i went downstairs, thinking that i'd clean the mess up later. stumbling through the kitchen, i immediately walked through a big pile of cat puke.

    after rinsing my toes, i returned to the kitchen, and felt a fart coming on. it wasn't just air. not a full dump in the pants, but some definite squishiness. i did the clench and waddle to the bathroom, and fortunately, there was no spillage outside the cheeks. thank god. if there had been, i'd have been forced to shower. i spent the rest of the day shitting my guts out.

    no incidents today, but i smell like a pack of goats. it took about a half hour to clean all the puke off the upstairs bathroom. shortly, i will go shower. it may take a while.
  2. Gonz

    Gonz molṑn labé Staff Member
  3. Nixy

    Nixy Elimi-nistrator Staff Member

    I don't understand the appeal of NOT showering...I feel like crap if I don't shower. I LIKE being clean.
  4. Cerise

    Cerise Well-Known Member

    La, La, La, La. Oh, wait:

    How much younger is she than you?
  5. valkyrie

    valkyrie Well-Known Member

    I have 3 goats. I'm pretty sure they smell much nicer than you do (or did if you've already showered).
  6. MrBishop

    MrBishop Well-Known Member

    Sounds like someone will be redocorating the bathroom before the gf arrives :)

    It's good to let go every once in a while..I prefer doing it while camping. Being in the middle of the woods is a good excuse for not showering.
  7. BeardofPants

    BeardofPants New Member

    I don't religiously shower every day ('cept summer), but even so, the thought of the grot build up is just too much to bear. This whole thread makes me shudder.
  8. Gotholic

    Gotholic Well-Known Member

    Minks, when you let yourself go, you really let yourself go.

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