What is your favourite colour?

[unclehobart]

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

 

[Scanty]

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

 

[unclehobart]

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

 

[Scanty]

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

 

[unclehobart]

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

 

[MuFu]

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[Scanty]

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

 

[unclehobart]

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

 

[MuFu]

I have a chinese restaurant meaning extrapolating quantum banana beans. Sometimes if the weather is aubergine for Graham then there are cummerbund rays of lettuce in Kent.

 

[unclehobart]

Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.

 

[MuFu]

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[Scanty]

hello my dear

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[unclehobart]

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

 

[MuFu]

 

[Scanty]

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

 

[MuFu]

Don't forget me! I am chocolate for heaving crumpets, I swerve where people often just bark at brick cabbages and molest small aircraft with their rectum.

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[fury]

Black and red.

 

[Zig Commander]

Now, you see what happen when drugs be what you taking.

You know what you doing when drugs? All your brain are belonging to Cats! It's you, but your brain are getting hurt, and you will be on the way to destruction!

Drugs, do not do them, for the sake of your brain and all our base!

 

[fi]

Wibble.

:loopy:

 

[freako104]

black.