wtf - creepy neighbours

[Leslie]

So I'm outside just after midnight last night sitting on the porch.

And the neighbour across the road suddenly comes flying angrily out his front door, jumps down the stairs, goes towards the backyard, stops at the tree at the end of the driveway, whips 'it' out, and proceeds to beat off onto it. His girlfriend just stayed in the house and didn't move a muscle.

WTF

what kind of scenario in the house would make that happen? I gather she wouldn't "something" him, but was his bathroom broken? he can't do it with her in the house? WTF?

 

[Professur]

And you just sat there and watched him? How long was that? Did he know you were there?

 

[Leslie]

of course I did! I was flabbergasted! and it was funny! and if I got up he'd know I was there!

I guess about 2 minutes? not long at all.

I waited till he was sitting on his porch mumbling to himself and then I got up and made a big LOUD production of going back into the house. So he then knew I was out there. heeeheeeheee

 

[Professur]

And then what did you do?

 

[Leslie]

not what you're hoping

 

[Professur]

OK, so you didn't go take a shower in disgust.

 

[Leslie]

no, I sat and tried to figure out why the fuck he'd go do it in the yard against a tree when he must have had a perfectly good roll of toilet paper.

I don't get people.

 

[Professur]

Perhaps he's an exibishionist, and he knew you were watching. He might even have been thinking of you watching him to get himself off. Or perhaps it was an offer for you to join him and him 'other' for a "menage a tree".

 

[Leslie]

ohgoodgod ew!

no...they had a fight, and after he was done he sat on the step mumbling and bitching and carrying on. I think it was just a weird drunken act to prove some weird point in his addled head.

 

[HomeLAN]

Ah, anger and alcohol. What a mix.

 

[MrBishop]

I guess if you can't get any bush...getting some tree is the next best thing.

Redefining "Getting a woodie"

Maybe he wanted to expand his family tree?

man..the puns on this one are endless

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Les? I thought you were in Canada...

 

[Professur]

Les? I thought you were in Canada...

Why? Did you get into a fight with the missus last night and go talk it out with a tree?

 

[Leslie]

Les? I thought you were in Canada...

that'd be why this doesn't phase me one little bit

 

[MrBishop]

that'd be why this doesn't phase me one little bit

Yup...plenty of tree-huggers up here. This is just the next logical step

 

[Winky]

Yeah it will be a minor inconvenience when they rope off
the entire block as a crime scene after this sexual nutjob kills his family.

A werd of advice Les, don't get on the local news and say:
“The guy wanked off in the front yard screamed and yelled
I knew he was a wack(off)job.”

Ya gotta do the:
"Oh he seemed like such a normal guy" routine.

C'Mon stop and think fer a sec.
This guy is fookin' nutz, heh heh

 

[HomeLAN]

Perhaps he read This and figured to take it a step further....

 

[Winky]

Daumn another insane supposed therapist
like the whipped cream huffin feminist nutcase.

And people pay for this type of crap advice!

 

[Inkara1]

So you're not going to sit out there again tonight with a camcorder handy are you?

 

[MrBishop]

Webcam - fuckatree.com

You'll make millions!