MrBishop
Well-Known Member
You know that you're a Canadian when...
- You have more Canadian Tire money than legal tender in your wallet
- You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
- You understand the sentence "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my BOWL OF POUTINE" !
- You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
- You drink pop, not soda.
- You have a Prime Minister who isn't fluent in either of the official languages (English & French).
- You know what it means to be 'on the pogey'.
- You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh?!"
- You can drink legally while still a teen.
- You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
- You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
- You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with very good cigars (and no Americans!).
- When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it, instead of telling them to stay out of it.
- You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't WANT to know if he has!
- You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
- Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
- You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
- You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
- You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
- You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
- You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
- You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
- You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
- You participated in "Participaction."
- You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."
- You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
- Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian Passport.
- You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, color, etc.
- You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
- You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
- You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
- You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo".
- You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
- You were mad at the CBC when "The Beachcombers" was taken off the air.
- You know what a tuque is and you often wear one.
- You have heard of ... and have some cherished memento of Bob and Doug McKenzie.
- You know Toronto is NOT a province.
- You never miss "Coach's Corner" during Hockey Night in Canada.
- Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
- Your car has a cord and plug sticking out of the grill connected to a block heater.
- You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- You have more kilometres on your snow blower than your car.
- You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
- Canadian Tire Store on any Saturday is busier than most toy stores at Christmas.
- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- You head south to go to your cottage.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.
- You find -40C a little chilly.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a portable deep freeze.
- You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorels.
- Your community buys a Zamboni before a Schoolbus.
- You can play road hockey on skates.
- You know four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter and Road Repair.
- You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
- You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
- You pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."
- You end some sentences with "eh," ... eh?
