Youth Pastor Forced To Break Out ´Hell Is Not Disneyla

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Youth Pastor Forced To Break Out 'Hell Is Not Disneyland'

Youth Pastor Forced To Break Out 'Hell Is Not Disneyland' Speech

EVANSVILLE, IN—A mere eight days into United Methodist Church's summer Bible school, youth pastor John Dearden, 49, was forced to break out his trademark "Hell Is Not Disneyland" speech Monday, outlining the differences between eternal damnation and the popular Anaheim, CA, theme park.

"Hell is not Disneyland, people," said Dearden, unleashing a 12-minute version of the oft-delivered speech on a group of misbehaving fifth and sixth graders. "You may think this is funny now, but you won't be laughing when it's time to meet your maker. You won't be riding in teacups and drinking soda pop down there, believe you me. You'll be wishing you'd heeded God's Word."

Dearden, who has directed the church's youth program since 1987, pulled out the speech after the rambunctious children repeatedly ignored warnings to settle down.
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The Mickey Mouse Fan Club might have something to say about this. :headbang: :p
 
freako104

freako104

Well-Known Member
:rofl2: sorry but stuff liek that makes me laugh. where do they come up with stories like thta? i dont see how disney is evil. they use innuendos in some of their films but also they have been pretty good about making childrens movies. and they have something for the adults too. is this the same guy wholl complain about anything to get his name in the paper?
 
sbcanada

sbcanada

New Member
Hell is not Disneyland?

Well they are similar in a way. Ever been on Toad's Wild Ride? On that ride you drive around in a "car" and eventually get hit by a train and go to hell... it's hot in there and everything. :D
 
Ardsgaine

Ardsgaine

New Member
Originally posted by Anakin
Hell is not Disneyland?
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Well, I hope not. I mean, I like Disneyland and all, but I'm hoping that Hell has at least a PG-13 rating. God knows (haha) I don't want to sit through an eternity of Winnie-the-Pooh cutesiness. I did that already when my daughter was two.
 
[b]

[b]

New Member
I've been to hell. It's a lot like being cramped in a black Plymouth Laser with five other people, not having any A/C and driving from Florida to Texas through a rainstorm with all the windows up. For added comfort, only two of the six people are over the age of fifteen, and the four kids are all related and have been fighting the whole trip when one of the kids decides to pull the window tint off of the back window thus leaving the rest of car smelling like strong glue. Did I mention the no A/C and having to drive with the windows up?

In other news, Scientists have discovered that if Hell is not Disneyland, it's even less like Disneyworld. All though Hell could be closely compared to Six Flags or Bush Gardens.

 
freako104

freako104

Well-Known Member
if anyone else listens to primus(i know i know they suck) this is from their song DMV: "ive been to hell i call it the DMV." thats hell. that or a theme park in NJ. :D
 
freako104

freako104

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by
personally i like primus. is that bad?
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its not bad cause its your own personal taste. its just that they suck(its their motto) but im a fan too. to me their jsut a funny band i put it there cause its a song i thought would fit into this thread and also make people laugh about what i said. so no its not bad. they suck though.
 
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