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I'm thinking the shock of 30 will last so long that I wont notice 40 coming.

I shall backslash Bishop with my razor sharply inappropriate lower case sentence beginers and my clearly vulgar misuse of commas, quotation marks and semi colons. I will kick him in his dangling participals with my heavy handed shift key!

I love you (period) Do you love me (question mark) Please, please (exclamaition point) I wanna hold you (in parenthasis)

That's because you're from HOTLANTA...the mecca of drug acronyms. I'm from upstate New York..the mecca of cow pastuers.

I can't find my real picture... But this is a modified version of the real pic made by a chick making fun of my musical abilities.

I can't find my real picture... But this is a modified version of the real pic made by a chick making fun of my musical abilities.

E = Entertainment Television and E= Ecstasy

I felt the sudden urge to watch "Honnymooner" re-runs.

It's like a wall. With ugly wall paper on it. 29 is very different from 30.

I remember when I was young, I dated a gymnast named Gidget. Now I date whichever woman collects the most alimony from her ex.

I remember when if I stayed up until morning I had "conqured the night" Now, If I see daylight without sleeping I have a look on my face like someone had just introduced me to running water for the first time

I remember when "E" was a cable tv channel. Not a designer drug.

Ahhh, yes Joe.. Young people... Cherish it while you can. Pretty soon, you wont be able to maintain a boner without holding a gun to her head.

People say to me.. "Why don't you have kids?" I use to be speechless but now I just say.. "I like kids....I just can't eat a whole one."

I remember when I was a kid... Thinking my father, Paul D. was the smartest dude alive. Now that I think back...I realize he wasn’t. He said things like.. -Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. -The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those...

Some things have changed.. The Differences? Then: The perfect high. Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund. Then: Popping pills, smoking joints. Now: Popping joints. Then: Killer weed. Now: Weed killer. Then: Rolling Stones. Now: Kidney stones.

Wait just a minute. No one is as bad a spelr as Hoon. I will challenge you to a Spelling Bea!

We've becoma a very lazt society when we need to illuminate out toilet bowls because we're too lazy to TURN THE BATHROOM LIGHT ON. This product may have held some validity with me if it were invented back when we used outhouses.

I will never hear that EJ song without hearing "Tony Danza" now. CLASSIC, Tonks!..LoL

Gay.