YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN DOWNTOWN VANCOUVER WHEN . . .
- Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
- You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
- Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, & is named Breeze.
- You can't remember...is pot illegal?
- You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
- You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
- You also know which Yaletown restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
- A really great parking space can move you to tears.
- A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
- A woman gets on the bus with live poultry. You don't even notice.
- The guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
- Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
- The gym is packed at 3 pm ....on a work day.
- Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
- The weatherman talks about the weather in other parts of the country, as if we really care.
- You pass an elementary school and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
- You pick up a newspaper to read the weather page which accurately describes today's weather and then realize the paper is 6 months old.
- The driver in front of you puts on their left hand turn signal and you subconsciously change into the left lane knowing that they will ultimately be turning right.
- You know 22 different excuses not to give spare change.
- On Fridays the work day ends at 5:00 pm - Toronto Standard Time.
- Buying a condominium is considered "home ownership".
- It seems reasonable to you that the Vancouver Molson Indy offers condo dwellers with nervous disorders living near the race course free hotel accommodations unlike any other Indy race held in the world.
- The Georgia Straight's annual coffee house ratings are more important to you than Gourmet Magazine's prize winning annual Best Restaurant List.
- It seems fair and acceptable that everybody in a political party has a go at being the Premier of the province, from the pageboy on up.
- It takes longer to drive from the suburbs to popular shopping districts downtown than to fly to West Edmonton Mall.
- When you apply for a job as a wait person, the interviewer asks to see your portfolio and what sets you have been on.
- There is a long line-up at a nightclub, the doorman refuses your sizable US handshake to get you in and, when you finally do, there is barely anyone inside.
- They have dug-up outside your apartment/condo four times in the past year to lay high speed Internet data carrying fiber optic cable but the telecom company that claims to be a technology leader isn't offering that service in your area for another year.
- It seems fair that people who purchased inexpensive, deeply discounted homes right beside YVR International Airport should now be compensated for the noise and have airplane movement restricted.
- You think Vancouver is the greatest city in the world though it only has 99 days of sun a year,one of the highest violent crime rates in North America, is a key hub for organized drug rings and is in one of the highest tax juridictions anywhere in North and South America.
Lived in these part since I was 4yrs old and have never actually felt one *sound sleeper
