2 storks

A.B.Normal

New Member
Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him.

"Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says,

"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"
 
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally
behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to
Earth to check it out.When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a
second angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When this second angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true!The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but... 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,
because He wanted to encourage them, you know...give them a little
something to help them keep going.


Do you know what the E-mail said?

Just wondering, I didn't seem to get mine..............
 
In the small town of SmallTown, IA...there is an old maid called Ms. Frenshaw who is a terror to all around her because of her ability to pass judgment on all who act less correctly than she thinks they aught to. She is the rumour mill, and although despised by most, no one will tell her off because of her effectivness at pushing revenge-rumours out to the rest of the town.

One day, Ms. Frenshaw sets her sights on Mr.Rogers. She accuses him, in the middle of the town square, of being an alcoholic. Her proof...she saw his truck parked outside of the towns one bar all afternoon and past supper-time.

Mr.Rogers, a respected man in the community, decides to not say a word against her accusations, but instead turns his back on her and walks away from her and her cronies' laughing.

That night...Mr.Rogers parked his truck outside of Ms.Frenshaw's house ...


...and left it there, all night long. :D
 
MrBishop said:
In the small town of SmallTown, IA...there is an old maid called Ms. Frenshaw who is a terror to all around her because of her ability to pass judgment on all who act less correctly than she thinks they aught to. She is the rumour mill, and although despised by most, no one will tell her off because of her effectivness at pushing revenge-rumours out to the rest of the town.

One day, Ms. Frenshaw sets her sights on Mr.Rogers. She accuses him, in the middle of the town square, of being an alcoholic. Her proof...she saw his truck parked outside of the towns one bar all afternoon and past supper-time.

Mr.Rogers, a respected man in the community, decides to not say a word against her accusations, but instead turns his back on her and walks away from her and her cronies' laughing.

That night...Mr.Rogers parked his truck outside of Ms.Crenshaw's house ...


...and left it there, all night long. :D


And what does Ms. Crenshaw have to do with Ms.Frenshaw telling stories on Mr. Rogers?
 
Professur said:
And what does Ms. Crenshaw have to do with Ms.Frenshaw telling stories on Mr. Rogers?
You know...if you loosened your anus just a wee bit, vapor-lock wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't be gettin' all those headaches :D j/k (of course)

I typed it out from memory...gimme a break :D
 
MrBishop said:
You know...if you loosened your anus just a wee bit, vapor-lock wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't be gettin' all those headaches :D j/k (of course):D



Sorry, ol' codger. If I did that, I might start giving a shit about what some people type.
 
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