Add up the pimps, subtract one teacher

Leslie

Leslie

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Add Up The Pimps, Subtract One Teacher
Pimps, prostitutes, machine guns, drugs, and getting “knocked up”. What could they possibly have in common? They were all subjects on a math proficiency test at a school in a small northern Manitoba town. The exam featured such classic arithmetic problems as, “Rufus is a pimp for 3 girls. If the price is $65 per trick, how many tricks per day must each girl turn to support Rufus’ $800 a day crack habit?” Then there was the trouble with Hector. “Hector knocked up 3 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of the girls in the gang that Hector knocked up?”

While the 13-and 14-year-old students at the Juniper School in Thompson may have been amused by the riddles, their parents weren’t. And the province’s Minister of Education was disturbed. The tests are so hot, they’re fast becoming the talk of the nickel-mining community of 15,000 folks, 800 kilometres north of Winnipeg. And now that the story’s appearing on SBT, it’s bound to put the Mystery Lake School District on the map, just as the veteran teacher is being temporarily relieved of her duties. She was suspended without pay for three days. So what gave her the idea? The test appeared to be modeled after “The City Of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency exam,” found on an Internet joke site.

Want one more? Supplied with the exact speed of travel and the number of seconds it takes to load a shotgun, another question asked students to calculate the distance, Billie, a skateboard thief, would be able to flee before getting “whacked”. Makes you wonder who’s really whacked. You don’t need to wonder.
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Math got a lot more interesting since I was in school :eek:

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That crud for real? Must be a pilot program or something. You guys have pimps named Rufus in northern Manitoba? This I gotta see. :D
 
No shit, I did pretty good in Math, but this definitely would have made it more interesting. This kind of math is real math, the kind you can actually use in everyday life.
 
the real life type math questions that i used to get were boring as hell, if i had had a cool teacher like that then maybe i'd be a math genius right now :coffee:
 
I had one kewl math teacher which exams featured really stupid "real-life questions" and absurdities, the trouble was that we had 1hr to do his exams, but we laughed at his questions half of the time of it, so some people failed (seriously). Plus he was doing stupid stuff during the exams like using a stapler as a phone and calling Elvis, doing Ethan Hunt on the desk and stuff like that. It's in High School BTW :eek:

I had a psychopatic Egyptian math teacher once too, he was making supposedly fun death menaces to students who were disturbing others...High school math teachers are really a phenomenon.
 
:rofl2: I had some of those teachers too!

I remember Mr. Webster, grade 7 advanced math, we couldn't get our heads around negative digits and algebra, for weeks we agonized over it, finally one day he just lost it, and he screamed, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IT! JUST FOLLOW THE RULES AND BLOODY WELL DO IT!!!" :eek: :laugh: So we meekly did, and through doing it, we came to understand it very quickly. Too bad for him and us as well that he didn't say that to us sooner, it would have saved a ton of angst! :D
 
I can't believe I saw this again! The test is a long-standing e-mail forward joke, which I myself sent to a friend on November 14, 2000. I'm just surprised a school actually printed it out to use it.

"Math Proficiency Exam"
The City of Los Angeles High School
Math Proficiency Exam


1. Little Jimmy has an AK 47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of
every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many
drive-by shootings can Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and
2 grams to Juan for $85 gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3. Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day
must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?

4. Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20%
profit. How many ounces will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100
for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more
Corvettes must he steal to have $900?

6. Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his
common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he
gets out?
Extra credit bonus: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that
spent his money?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average
letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce
cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

8. Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang.
What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

9. Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3
small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as
a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa on one week's income?

10. Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his
357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will
Billy be when he gets whacked?
Click to expand...
 
leslie, if someone had told me that i might have gone a bit further at maths, my brain locked up a bit before a-level maths and i fortunately didn't need any at uni :)
 
What I originally posted really happened, the teacher is in deep doo-doo. :D

Inkara posted the joke email where the teacher here got the idea from.
 
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