Another friend lost

PrincessLissa

PrincessLissa

New Member
Suicide is weak. Why a person would feel that alone in a sea full of friends of family is beyond me. He never asked for help, always was doing "great", and never had any ill feelings about anything. He was very friendly and very well liked. He will now be sorely missed while we all stare inward and wonder what we could have done.

My friend Kurt was found early this morning by his fiancee (luckily the kids were in bed) hanging from the rafters in his own garage.

I feel sad for my loss, and the massaive loss of others and hope that his troubled mind will lay at rest, but on the other hand I am angry that he has turned to such measures. He left no note or anything and we are all very confused. Suicide is weak and I believe that those who take their own life will be restless forever.

I just dunno...
 
deepest condolences. Did he leave a note? most who commit suicide do not talk about it. though there are some indicators. isolation, thoughts of depression/death, giving away prized possesions. :sadhug: sorry for your loss.
 
Leslie said:
There's nothing you could have done, hun :sadhug:
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I agree ,you can however now help the wife and children and yourself in whatever way you must.Its those that are left behind by these incidents that are the true victims. :hug:
 
A.B.Normal said:
I agree ,you can however now help the wife and children and yourself in whatever way you must.Its those that are left behind by these incidents that are the true victims. :hug:
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PrincessLissa said:
Suicide is weak and I believe that those who take their own life will be restless forever.
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No

I just dunno...
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Exactly. There has never been a point in your life where you have reached such level of desperation and depression that purposely inflicting pain on one's self is the only way to escape.

I use to feel suicide is weak, I don't now. It may seem like a selfish act but when you're in middle of a warp of depression, anxiety, helplessness, and pain, others are the last thing you think about. One can't see beyond the despair in order to have more grand view on life. It doesn't seem like weakness then, it just seems like the most peaceful way out.

Don't condemn him for what he did.
 
yep, that "depression" is some strange, bad, shit.
I fight it off all the time. I'm getting weak though.
I may try to get some meds for it soon. it's getting more frequent on me.

Many times I'm really glad i got all those self improvement tapes.
They've helped me recognize the symptoms, when they start coming on.
 
IDLEchild said:
I use to feel suicide is weak, I don't now. It may seem like a selfish act but when you're in middle of a warp of depression, anxiety, helplessness, and pain, others are the last thing you think about. One can't see beyond the despair in order to have more grand view on life. It doesn't seem like weakness then, it just seems like the most peaceful way out.

Don't condemn him for what he did.
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I agree.

Sorry that you hurt, PL ... **HUGS**
 
Don't hurt yourself trying to figure out what you could have done.

*hug*
 
i am so very sorry for your loss Lissa.


deep depression is an ugly thing.
i've found, from speaking with people that have made serious suicide attempts, (the ones that were found early) that they are thinking of others, but not in a positive way. they see it as either others dont care about how they are or they dont want to burden them with how they feel. that they aren't worth the attention.
 
I've been suicidal.

It is the loneliest, most lost place one will ever find themselves.

You know every alternative. You say all the right things day after day. You even believe them sometimes. You know, deep down, that things HAVE to get better.

Then they don't get better.

Deep depression is overpowering. It is debilitating. It is all encompassing. It is so...complete in its total devastation of the person you know you are that it seems that person is already dead.

I do not condone suicide. I understand what can drive someone to that point. Unless you have been there, you can never begin to fathom it. I am able to talk about it because I came through it without doing anything to end my life. I would want anyone to know that it is possible to get that close to the final brink, and be pulled back from it, and to go forward from there.

Once you have been there, it changes you. Forever.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your friend. You could not have prevented this from happening. Had you known what was on his mind, you could not have stopped it. Because he could never accurately express it. Please do not hate him. Just be there for his family as much as you can. And never doubt for one second that that's all he probably wanted to do himself...had he seen a way to do it.
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
I've been suicidal.

It is the loneliest, most lost place one will ever find themselves.

You know every alternative. You say all the right things day after day. You even believe them sometimes. You know, deep down, that things HAVE to get better.

Then they don't get better.

Deep depression is overpowering. It is debilitating. It is all encompassing. It is so...complete in its total devastation of the person you know you are that it seems that person is already dead.

I do not condone suicide. I understand what can drive someone to that point. Unless you have been there, you can never begin to fathom it. I am able to talk about it because I came through it without doing anything to end my life. I would want anyone to know that it is possible to get that close to the final brink, and be pulled back from it, and to go forward from there.

Once you have been there, it changes you. Forever.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your friend. You could not have prevented this from happening. Had you known what was on his mind, you could not have stopped it. Because he could never accurately express it. Please do not hate him. Just be there for his family as much as you can. And never doubt for one second that that's all he probably wanted to do himself...had he seen a way to do it.
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I am glad you never went throught it SnP. You are right it changes you forever and it also changes those closest to you as well
 
I've been through some rough spots where it did seem like suicide was the only way out, but I never did it. Maybe I was chicken, maybe I thought it was weak, maybe I worried about those who would be left behind. Maybe a lot of things.

I just wish some of those signes would have been there. None of the "tell-tale" signs were there. No one knew. We all knew that he would have a few drinks on the weekend when it wasn't his turn to drive, but that was just social drinking and even then it was only a few drinks. We all knew that he was upset when he lost his job, but he loved his new job so much more and always talked about how much better it was and that he was able to support his fiancee and her kids. They had an open relationship, which he was very happy with and they loved each other very much. I never saw this coming. No one did.

Thank you for all your kind words. I am not really condeming him for what he did, although I still think it is selfish, I am just going through those stages of grieving. Anger tends to be one that I hold close for a while. I was really angry about Aaron's death.
 
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