Bach-ing it.

P

PT

Off 'Motherfuckin' Topic Elite
Ok, more single Father-ing it. The wife is gone for training again til Wednesday. I've got the kids, and my supply of duct tape is dwindling.
 
Well, then stick a light bulb up their asses and staple em' to the side of the house. If you use the blinking ones then the hair stands on end between blinks.






That was a joke people.
 
PT said:
Can't. Used em all on the xmas lights.
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you coulda used the christmas lights...that way they'd be restrained and festive.
**edit** and without a lightbulb up the poop chute :hmm:
 
What you need (and it's probably to late to cultivate it now) is a reputation for insanity and violence. Like "the alleged incedent where the guy lost four teeth and his left testicle..."

Failing that, you could fake a heart attack. They probably already think you're old enough to die at any moment anyway.
 
chcr said:
Failing that, you could fake a heart attack. They probably already think you're old enough to die at any moment anyway.
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The heart attack worked, but they took my wallet and car keys and they left.
:hmm:
 
This thread put me in mind of the Little Rascals episode where they put the baby on the floor with glue...anyone remember it? :lol:
 
Say it with me...I know that you can...

Digital Babysitter!

Ingredients
- 4-6 bottles of Coke
- 1 Xbox (Gamecube or N64 may be substituted in a pinch)
- many, many games or 1 really fuckin' addictive one
- chips, snacks, chocolate etc...

Place all items in proximity of a bathroom (in case of emergencies), plug items in, plug kids in...stand back! Add movies on DVD to taste.

Voila! Instant Digital-babysitter :)

For the older kids...especially boys. Introduce them to i-porn ... you may never see their pasty-faces again. :D
 
MrBishop said:
Say it with me...I know that you can...

Digital Babysitter!
Click to expand...

:hmm: Sounds like a recipe for disaster. If you give kids what they want, they'll only get bored with it that much faster... ;)

MrBishop said:
For the older kids...especially boys. Introduce them to i-porn ... you may never see their pasty-faces again. :D
Click to expand...

:hmm: But just think of the sticky, gooey, mess you'll have to clean up afterward... :fap: :fap:
 
HomeLAN said:
Velcro, properly applied, can be quite effective, and adds the amusement factor of chafing.
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Velcro is GOD

*makes note to get a pic of herself wearing her VELCRO touque*
 
Six kids. Say it with me. Even with the multi-tap, you can connect 4 controllers. Do the math. 6-4=2 VERY PISSED OFF KIDS!!!

Nope, duct tape. I've restocked today. Now, as long as they haven't changed the locks between the time they get home from school and the time I get home from work, I'm good. Otherwise it looks like I'll have to find another place to stay tomorrow.
 
PT said:
Six kids. Say it with me. Even with the multi-tap, you can connect 4 controllers. Do the math. 6-4=2 VERY PISSED OFF KIDS!!!

Nope, duct tape. I've restocked today. Now, as long as they haven't changed the locks between the time they get home from school and the time I get home from work, I'm good. Otherwise it looks like I'll have to find another place to stay tomorrow.
Click to expand...

You mean you didn't leave a second story window unlocked just for such an emergency? :eek: I thought you knew better...:D
 
Dude, you're forgetting the Parent's Best Friend...the fail-proof remedy for kids running amok...that last bastion of parental sanity trusted for generations...


NY-QUIL!!!!! :drink:
 
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