Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving hand jobs when you were 12, but now, you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is used up by age 19, you're gonna be a worn-out, chalky skin, burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ball park?
