CDC: Suicide rate among US girls soars

[Error]

I'm like falling asleep. I guarantee like 5 minutes from now someones going to pick my sleeping bodyt off of the HIGHWAY!

 

[Inkara1]

First, if there is some reason my "friends" did that to me, I haven't the foggiest idea what it could be. My siblings are both younger, and at the time my friends shit all over me, they were waaay still in grade school.

I'm simply going on what information you've told us. The thought is that perhaps you actually do know the reason, but haven't made the connection... I thought maybe by asking a few questions, I could help you make that connection. Had something changed about you recently? Had a rumor about you started circulating? Did you change something about your look? Did you get something (a car, perhaps?) and everyone else was jealous? Did you get boobs before the other girls? The list goes on.

Second, my siblings couldn't hate me because of anything related to dad... when all that shit was happening with dad, they were so young they barely remember anything at all.

I don't think you give your siblings enough credit for their memories. Doing a little math tells me that you were about 11 when your dad left and your sister was about to turn 7. I can remember things back to when I was 3, and I don't think it's unreasonable to think other people might be able to remember that far back too.

They do gang up on me with the whole "omg U R TWINY N STILL LIVING WITH YER MAUM OMG FUCKING LOSER" which, honestly, I know they don't give a fuck about that, it's that if I leave, they think they'll get more *stuff*... which is stupid because I don't take from them. My sister is about to be 16, so you kknnooww we clash like crazy... and it's just worse because I'm the... like... artsy expressive "fuck what you or anyone else thinks" type... and she's the stuck up bitchy "I deserve the world and the right to shit all over people like YOU"... so yeah... she basically thinks she IS glamour magazine.

So your siblings telling you to kill yourself only started in the last two years or so? Before, you made it sound like they were doing it in high school, the same time your friends abandoned you. As for how your sister is... I know you won't see it if you look at your own posts, but a neutral party would notice that you seem to be pretty egotistical yourself. I'm curious what your take is on your other siblings. What type of behaviors and personality traits do they possess that make them automatically wrong and you right?

The shit with the sibs is shit that I don't cause, and isn't dad-related.

You might not have noticed that I went out of my way to clarify that I wasn't saying you caused the problems with your siblings. But if the problems aren't dad-related, when what did cause them? Seems to me like there are two possibilities here. 1. It goes back to a single event for all of them... and if it's not them blaming you for your dad leaving, then I'd be curious to know what the single event is. You've only said it's not them blaming you for your dad leaving; you haven't offered an alternative explanation. The other possiblitiy is: 2. You've simply found a way to rub all of them the wrong way... and that would be your own fault. If that's the case, what caused you to become someone that rubs that many people the wrong way? If it's not daddy issues, then I'm certainly waiting in anticipation of what the answer might be.

I think it's ridiculous that after all this time and that little fight... you still insist that I'm just oblivious to this huge emotional problem that I HAVE because YOU SAYS I HAS IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, you offer no alternative explanation. I've been accused of always having to be right before, but that's actually inaccurate. If I'm sure of something, but am shown evidence to the contrary, then I'll back off. But you've offered no evidence. You haven't done much convincing and you haven't said anything to make me or anyone else think you know what's wrong with you. You haven't given a real alternative explanation. It's a sort of "I don't know what's right, but I know you're wrong" sort of thing.

Seriously, I am an intelligent person, I know my own background, my own thoughts, my own emotions, and I don't appreciate this. It might make you feel really good to pull the "I'm older, I know." thing, but please spare me. I don't care how old you are, you may be real experienced with life, but not my life. I don't read every post you make and question everything you say... I don't try to convince you that I know your thoughts and emotions better than you do, so please have the same fucking courtesy with me. Thanks.

When have I ever used my age in a conversation with you? Do you even know what my age is?

Now, I think the big question is... have you considered seeing a therapist about all these problems you have? You know, someone who's been to school for a long time and licensed and paid big money to know your thoughts and emotions better than you do? If you saw one, did he or she, by any chance, try to sort through your father issues?

 

[Winky]

Well if thars all these gurls wackin' themselves
lets all hope they is all ugly!

 

[2minkey]

Sheik Yerbouti

I Have Been In You

March 3, 1979, 3:33 min.

Previous Song | Index | Next Song
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Adrian Belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter Wolf (keyboards)
Patrick O'Hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry Bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion, vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (background vocals)
Andre Lewis (background vocals)
Randy Thornton (background vocals)
Davey Moire (background vocals)


I have been in you, baby
And you
Have been in me
And we
Have be
So intimately
Entwined
And it sure was fine
I have been in you, baby
And you
Have been in me
And so you see
We
Have be so together
I thought that we would never
Return from forever
Return from forever
Return from forever...
You
Have been in me
And understandably
I have been in 'n' outa you
An' everywhere
You want me to
Yes, you know it's true
And while
I was inside
I mighta been
Undignified
And that is maybe
Why you cried
I don't know
Maybe so,
But what's the difference now?
I have been in you, baby
You have been in me
Aw' little girl, there ain't no time
To wash yer stinky hand
Go 'head 'n' roll over
I'm goin' in you again
In you again
In you again
In you again...
I'm goin' in you again-ahhh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh
In you again, ah! I'm going in you again, baby
'N' can go in me too,
That's true
I'm goin' in you again, baby
'N' later when we get through
I'm goin' in you again - ahh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh
In you again, ah!
In you again - ahhh

 

[Gonz]

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of Dental Floss Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss,
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
For somebody else...
but then, on the other hand
I'd Keep the wax N' melt it down
Pluck some Floss N' swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top

(that's why I'M movin' to Montana)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon
(yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all Afternoon...
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way I'm pluckin' the ol' Dennil Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line
With a Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss
Well I might Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush
N' then I might just Jumb back on
An' ride Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon

(Yippy-Ty-O-Ty-Ay)

Movin' to Montana soon

 

[markjs]

Inkara, I appreciate what you are trying to do for her, but unfortunately having had a background in matters psychological myself, I have to say, you certainly can't help a person with their issues when they are totally unwilling to admit they even have issues. Denial is a strong thing, it is in fact a neccessary defense mechanism of our species. If we didn't have denial in on form or another a lot of people would actually die when they hear shocking unpleasant news. Just keel right over with a heart attack at the mention of a loved ones suicide for instance.

Unfortunately denial backfires on us and makes it hard for us to admit unpleasant truths about ourselves, to ourselves.

No offense Error, but from what I've read of this thread he is an astute evaluator and brings up very valid points and your, absolute defensive backlash, tells me that he is hitting home. A person simply doesn't get that uncomfortable when what another is trying to tell them has no basis in truth. If what he was saying was truly preposterous nonsense as you claim it is, the response I'd expect from you is to go something like "Oh Please" and then laugh about it, and move on. That is what a psychologically healthy person does when falsely accused. You, on the other hand, are hell bent on explaining, justifying, rationalizing, and denying his points. I have formal training in psychology and it's textbook denial, in my somehwat educated opinion.

I am pretty sure that most of the bystanders to this discussion are asking ourselves; who is she trying to convince, Inkara1 or herself?

Both of you, relax, if you can....

Inkara1, if she isn't ready to deal with these issues no amount of hard hitting accurate and even patient and kind analysis will get the point across. She has to suffer the pain of her issues until she comes to terms with them and deals with them, and I have every hope that she will, but it will be in her own time. Your analysis may someday suddenly makes sense to gher at a later time. That is the unfortunate nature of analysts. The insight they offer often doesnt take firm root until years later.

Error, please don't feel attacked, I don't see that here, I see an older person, who is somehwat psychologically healthy, offering astute analysis based on the limited facts he has, but I see it hitting nerves and that just doesn't happen when the analyst is wrong. Be willing to open your mind to the possibility, that understanding yourself is a process that takes long years, and that if a critisizm hurts is almost always has some amount of validity. That's what growth is all about and it's a lifelong process. All the things he says are probably not all true, but there is enough truth ion it about things you aren't wanting to see that it's gotten your goat, so please take a look at it before you just feel picked on.

 

[Error]

I get what you're saying about my fiercely defending myself and how that looks, but I have explained that... and it isn't what you think. I did have a lot of issues back in the early years of high school... within the first couple of years after we left him. I realized he was ruining me and my personality and my emotions... I hate him so badly that I didn't want him to have that power... I started to do everything I could to not let him in... to not feel hatred towards men in general, to not let myself feel worthless because I didn't mean anything to my own father, to not allow his actions and his absence to effect me, change me, or ruin me. I've spent the years since I made that decision working at making that happen, and honestly I think I've done a great job. I don't hate men, in fact all of my friends are men. I don't feel worthless because he didn't want me... I cherish his absence more than I suffer from it... I wouldn't want him around if he could be.

I've gone through some intense shit just in my brain just with my emotions... some kind of turmoil some people never experience... and I wont just sit by and let people tell me that I have these problems I worked so hard NOT to have. That's why I get so defensive... because I put so much into making sure I didn't have these issues and when someone who doesn't know anything tries to say "daddy issues." and doesn't take my nice, polite, "no that's not it" as an answer, and insists that it IS the answer, who wouldn't get riled up?

In school, I first started school here in 6th grade. That's still elementary school, but from the first day I was someone everyone picked on. Clothes and such are important at that age, you know, but being so young, when we were school shopping my aunt (who helped us get away from dad, and lived here much longer) told me that these clothes and these shoes were IN *here*... and me not knowing shit I believed her... turns out they were the worst..thing...that's happened to me...lol..

Anyway, after that was middle/high school, and from 7-8th grade I had those *friends*... it was the beginning of 9th grade that they did that to me. There was no rumor that I know of, there was no problem that I knew of.. the only thing I can imagine it was... was that they were little whores and I refused to be. Every weekend they went to "lake dances" which were dances not put on by the school where... well let's just say anyone who attended was either a slut or a guy looking for said sluts. I would never go... I didn't party, I didn't fuck guys, my virginity meant a lot to me, etc etc... I just guess that they decided I wasn't allowed to be in their group if I wasn't a certified whore. I don't think it was much of a loss for me because they're just shitty people, but from that point on I never had any friends. I was always in a corner, alone, in the mornings before school started I literally sat in a corner with my headphones and just wished I was dead. The only people that talked to me were the teachers... they were my only friends... I had 100+ in just about every class... I ate alone, I sat alone, I worked alone, and it wasn't because I looked like marilyn manson. I tried to talk to people, I tried to work with groups, I even tried to go out for a couple of sports... for some reason I just wasn't even human to these people.

Also, before we moved here, I went all my elementary years in Lousiana... meaning I was a scrawny white girl surrounded by black kids... really, should I say more or do you get the picture already? I was bullied and made fun of and physically hurt a few dozen times... I was helpless. Then I moved and still I was just generally hated.

I did make one "friend" my senior year, and we've been "friends" ever since... but it's taken me these three years to realize what she really thinks of me. She doesn't have friends other than me, except her husband.. who I think only married her because he said he wanted a family like...yesterday.. and she was the only girl he knew that wanted one too. Anyway, she's a very selfish person and walked all over me... everything we ever did was what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, and half the time I had to pay for it. Sometimes she randomy came up with "remember you still owe me ten bucks!" and her explanation for what for always left me like.. "wtf are you even talking about." but I always had to pay anyway. She made me say please and thank you... to her... she always went on and on and on about her life, her stuff, herself, but when I wanted to (or needed to) talk, I got my time to talk, but the reply always was "but yeah, so [something about her]".

Think maybe that could be something to do with whatever issue I'm supposed to have? Maybe it's because I was never treated like a human being?

 

[markjs]

All I am going to say about that is when you were young being treated bad is a pity, but as an adult you need to learn to demand to be treated well, or not waste your time with people who don't. Part of that though involves learning to see yourself realistically, like yourself, and treat yourself well first. Until you like yourself, nobody else is going to. It's kind of a catch 22 but we all go though it in some way to some degree or another. You are not alone in this, no matter how much it feels that way.

 

[Error]

All I am going to say about that is when you were young being treated bad is a pity, but as an adult you need to learn to demand to be treated well, or not waste your time with people who don't. Part of that though involves learning to see yourself realistically, like yourself, and treat yourself well first. Until you like yourself, nobody else is going to. It's kind of a catch 22 but we all go though it in some way to some degree or another. You are not alone in this, no matter how much it feels that way.

K. Idk if you picked up on the whole thing about I just realized she treated me that way... the one "friend"... I havent spoken to her in weeks. I wont be treated that way... and if she wants to be friends again, I will make that clear.

 

[BeardofPants]

Actually, it just seems like you have attention seeking issues.

 

[Error]

Actually, it just seems like you have attention seeking issues.

k

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

which i can totally understand if you are people/friends/affection deprived. i have some similar experiences, as far as school people go... and i can't say i don't relate. *hugs*

 

[Winky]

 

[Error]

Today a good friend of mine was caught in a big fat lie! A huge one that like.. went on forever.

People generally suck.


Maybe that's why everyone's comitting suicide.

 

[Winky]

"It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

 

[Gonz]

Maybe that's why everyone's comitting suicide.

I wish they'd get on with it. Then, maybe, the rest of us can have more personal space.

 

[Error]

Until someone close to you commits suicide.

 

[Gonz]

Sorry, my callousness gets in the way of caring. Would I be sad? Of course. Would I pine over it? Hell no.

 

[Error]

I'm beginning to think the only thing you're capable of getting sad about is a missed opportunity to be an ass hat.

 

[Gonz]