My sister sent me this, and my dad forwarded it to me too.
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A Canadian Christmas...
A man in Newfoundland calls his son in Calgary two days before
Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery
is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father
says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about
this, so you call your sister in Vancouver and tell her."
Frantic,the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"No way they're getting divorced!" she shouts, "I'll take care
of this."
She calls Newfoundland immediately and screams at her father, "You are not
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there by tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing. DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."
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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees
and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open
Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm
Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy...oooh look at
the Froggy! Can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
