75renegade
New Member
Jon, without readin' the followin' posts, yers touched a chord in me.
My first stepdad prominaded 'imself, as a man who was like some kinda noble knight, who rode in on his faithful steed, to save a "damsel" in distress, (my Momma).
I was like 9, then, when I was tryin' to figure out the whole scenario, but it didn't take long to figure out, that my mother's new wounds were the result of her trust, in yet another, well meanin', self-absorbed alcoholic, who'd promised her the world, but denied his inability to deliver on his promises, an' his dependence upon an external, conflictin' source of "comfort".
The trouble, I believe, was that he did not believe in himself, as much as she believed in him............(so much, as to turn from a "love" that could only deliver disappointment, to one who could actually facillitate a healthy transformation of his soul.
At any rate, i think we all tend to hope in that, which by nature, is unable to own up to our expectations, no offense intended bro.......
I hated the nights i'd hear my sweet Momma's voice tryin' to hold position against a man, who cared less for her, than he did for himself, at her expense. (he abused her too)
BTW, he was a leutenant in a maximum security prison, where we lived.
He once told me that I was jus' like the inmates he oversaw, an' that one day, I'd end up, jus' like them, (I rebelled against his abused "authority"), an' he told me, he'd 'ave no pity for me when it came my time to serve behind the bars of his prison.
I chose not to believe his words, though they peirced my very soul, but instead, i believed in my Momma, who later learned, that he was cheatin' on her, when he'd traveled to other towns.
Things are not always as they seem, obviously, but there is hope, for those who choose to believe in truth, in spite of ourselves an' the propagated agenda of others.........no?
My first stepdad prominaded 'imself, as a man who was like some kinda noble knight, who rode in on his faithful steed, to save a "damsel" in distress, (my Momma).
I was like 9, then, when I was tryin' to figure out the whole scenario, but it didn't take long to figure out, that my mother's new wounds were the result of her trust, in yet another, well meanin', self-absorbed alcoholic, who'd promised her the world, but denied his inability to deliver on his promises, an' his dependence upon an external, conflictin' source of "comfort".
The trouble, I believe, was that he did not believe in himself, as much as she believed in him............(so much, as to turn from a "love" that could only deliver disappointment, to one who could actually facillitate a healthy transformation of his soul.
At any rate, i think we all tend to hope in that, which by nature, is unable to own up to our expectations, no offense intended bro.......
I hated the nights i'd hear my sweet Momma's voice tryin' to hold position against a man, who cared less for her, than he did for himself, at her expense. (he abused her too)
BTW, he was a leutenant in a maximum security prison, where we lived.
He once told me that I was jus' like the inmates he oversaw, an' that one day, I'd end up, jus' like them, (I rebelled against his abused "authority"), an' he told me, he'd 'ave no pity for me when it came my time to serve behind the bars of his prison.
I chose not to believe his words, though they peirced my very soul, but instead, i believed in my Momma, who later learned, that he was cheatin' on her, when he'd traveled to other towns.
Things are not always as they seem, obviously, but there is hope, for those who choose to believe in truth, in spite of ourselves an' the propagated agenda of others.........no?
