Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on
him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.
******************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a
great time to clean
the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
************************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook
him a delicious meal.
*********************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you
should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him
and cook him a nice meal.
**************************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes
to sleep never giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.
Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on
him.
A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal.
******************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a
great time to clean
the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
************************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook
him a delicious meal.
*********************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you
should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him
and cook him a nice meal.
**************************************
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes
to sleep never giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.
Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
I won't be like that, promise. In my opinion, sex is to give yourself to your mate, not for self physical pleasure and satisfaction 
, it's funny anyways