kat2220
New Member
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling numbnuts!. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send
you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your
older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
___________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and
joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
____________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a friggin' screen door in a
hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who
rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
some nice Legos instead.
Santa
_________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Jesus H. Christ! Who the fuck names their kid "Francis" nowadays? Only faggots
and sailors are called Francis!!! I bet you're gay, I'll set you up with a
Barbie.
Santa
__________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when I'm
driving the fucking
sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
__________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most
of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly
and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
_____________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like
in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't
cut it with me. You're getting a sweater again!
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the fucking boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams sweetheart
Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling numbnuts!. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send
you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your
older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
___________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and
joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
____________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a friggin' screen door in a
hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who
rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you
some nice Legos instead.
Santa
_________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Jesus H. Christ! Who the fuck names their kid "Francis" nowadays? Only faggots
and sailors are called Francis!!! I bet you're gay, I'll set you up with a
Barbie.
Santa
__________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when I'm
driving the fucking
sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
__________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most
of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly
and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
_____________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like
in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't
cut it with me. You're getting a sweater again!
Santa
_______________________________________________________
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the fucking boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams sweetheart
Santa
Lots of good ones there!
