DNA testing.. is it none of her business??

Spirit

Spirit

Kissy Goddess
John and Jane meet and fall in love. Jane gets pregnant and so they decide to get married. After birth of the baby, Jane admits to having had an affair before they got married. It causes a ripple, but John, being a dedicated and loyal man taking the vows very strongly, did his best to forgive Jane. After some years - a pattern developed that became questionable to John. He questions her loyalty and she pleads complete innocence. Another baby on the way.. baby is born.

After much digging and questioning, Jane finally admits to another affair, and that she isn't going to end the affair, John is devastated. To add insult to injury, Jane says the kids may not be his. He loves his kids with all his heart and they fight over this issue and after her saying yes, thier yours, no they may not be, yes they are... on and on... she ends with, yes, they are John's.

John is the one who kept the kids, she left them (and him). She visits the kids often and lives with the guy she had an affair with.

John now lives with someone, also. His new girlfriend is aware of all this background info and wonders, "Why doesn't he get tested for paternity?" But she doesn't want to ask him in fear that it may be percieved as her not wanting the kids - she loves kids and has some of her own. They are a very big and happy family the way they are. The other fear she has is that Jane and her BF have no money right now - is Jane waiting til they get more secure before springing the DNA testing idea on him? Thereby getting full custody of two children he has been raising? One child being handicapped.

Should John's GF let it alone? Let him be happy in thinking (because he does not know 100%) he's the father? Ask him if he wants to do the test? Is it even her business to even bring up the subject at all? John's GF is loving and supportive, but doesn't know if this is a line not to cross or not...?
 
The only one it would matter to is .... the kids. If John is listed as the father on the birth certificates, then a DNA test is irrelevant. He obviously doesn't care about their biology. and if he has full custody, his ex has no grounds for requesting one.
 
Wait until he mentions it... frankly, it probably won't change a damn thing for him if the kids are not his. Think of it like adoption. You know the kids aren't yours (biologically) but you don't love them any less.

I'd leave it alone.
 
Ooh...I thought of an exception - If the kids develop a condition for which John has no family history and he doesn't know if Jane does or not.

Many conditions follow along genetic tracks...heart conditions, schitzophrenia etc...
 
Jane is so kniving and dishonest that John's GF is afraid that Jane is waiting for a more opportune time to take advantage of the idea that kids may not be his.

Perhaps just not saying anything is best... but she would HATE to see him taken advantage of. He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.
 
Well, the boy has a string of problems. None, so far, appear genetic - it may be a result of Mama having German Measels.
 
MrBishop said:
I'd leave it alone.
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Even if the 'second post scenario' comes up. If she really loves this man, it shouldn't bother her one whit. She's obviously looking for an excuse to either pick a fight, or dump him.
 
Professur said:
..... and if he has full custody, his ex has no grounds for requesting one.
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Can she, though? Can she have a test done with the man she suspects as being the father without John's consent?

Gato_Solo said:
Even if the 'second post scenario' comes up. If she really loves this man, it shouldn't bother her one whit. She's obviously looking for an excuse to either pick a fight, or dump him.
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The only thing about it that bothers her is IF Jane decides to take action and they aren't biologicaly his, he'd be flat out devastated. John's GF loves him and the kids with all her heart and wouldn't dump him for all the tea in China. Hands down.
 
Spirit said:
The only thing about it that bothers her is IF Jane decides to take action and they aren't biologicaly his, he'd be flat out devastated. John's GF loves him and the kids with all her heart and wouldn't dump him for all the tea in China. Hands down.
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Ahh...so she's looking for a fight. Never question a man about his children. He probably has doubts about it himself, and buries it deep so as not to have it on his mind all the time. If she's bringing it up, it's because she knows this is a sore spot for him. If he wants to do it, then let it be his decision. Asking him to do it will cause a problem. Guaranteed.
 
Spirit said:
Can she, though? Can she have a test done with the man she suspects as being the father without John's consent?
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Not in Canada. She recognised him as father when the birth certificates were issued. That's legally binding.

The only thing about it that bothers her is IF Jane decides to take action and they aren't biologicaly his, he'd be flat out devastated.
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I doubt it. If he knew she was screwing around, he'd already dealt with wether the kids are his or not. He's already decided that they're his. Biology doesn't matter.

Personally, I wanna meet this guy. I've a feeling we'd get along.
 
Professur said:
Not in Canada. She recognised him as father when the birth certificates were issued. That's legally binding.





I doubt it. If he knew she was screwing around, he'd already dealt with wether the kids are his or not. He's already decided that they're his. Biology doesn't matter.

Personally, I wanna meet this guy. I've a feeling we'd get along.
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So it's legally binding, regardless of what a test might say? GOOD!! God love Canada.

Naw, Gato, no fight. She's not the fightin' kind at all. She doesn't even like to say anything that could hurt someone feelings. She soft as a goose down pillow, that one.
 
"sperm donor" and "father " are entirely different ,from a leagal standpoint though they may not be.

Prof, births are registerd provincially so it may not be a "Canada" thing.
 
Spirit said:
Naw, Gato, no fight. She's not the fightin' kind at all. She doesn't even like to say anything that could hurt someone feelings. She soft as a goose down pillow, that one.
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That's kind of a sore spot with me, too, so I was just voicing how I feel when the topic is broached...My kids are mine, and God help anybody who asks me to doubt that.
 
It is funny but to me the questions were all answered completely in the first post as the whole scenario was being laid out. But that my be totally due to the author not having her very own copy of:
"Winky's rules to successful living"
It's an extremely limited edition so she's not to blame.

You see when you have a copy nothing in life leaves you confused…

Oh almost forgot


No on the DNA test!
 
Gato_Solo said:
........ anybody who asks me to doubt that.
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Wow! That's exactly it! By bringing it up, she is asking him to doubt it..... which is very wrong.

Excellent point, Gato.
 
Don't do the testing, and leave it alone, but DO talk to a lawyer (quietly, away from the chillins), and find out 1) what the worst case is and 2) if there's a damn thing you can do about it that will NOT impact the children.
 
HomeLAN said:
Don't do the testing, and leave it alone, but DO talk to a lawyer (quietly, away from the chillins), and find out 1) what the worst case is and 2) if there's a damn thing you can do about it that will NOT impact the children.
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Great idea... asking the lawyer.
 
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