I just got this one...
>A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
>embarrassing moment in listener's lives.
>
>The final four were:
>
>4th Place.
>
>While in line
at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
>some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
>hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
>patrons.
>
>I told her that if she didn't start behaving herrself, right now, she
>would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
>voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will
>tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After this
>enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers
>stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and
>walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow.
>
>The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me was screams of
>laughter.
>
>
>
>3rd
Place
>
>It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
>parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
>for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard
>the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
>give her a piggy-back ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to
>miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the
>bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of
>people yelled "SURPRISE".
>
>My entire family - parents, and parents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well
>as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on
>the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
>eternity.
>
>Since then, no one in my family has
planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>
>2nd Place
>
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
>up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
>The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out
>across the store for everyone to hear, Price check for Tampax supersize.
>But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently
>misunderstood word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and replied in a business
>like tone, his voice booming over the same public address system: "Do
>you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind one you belt
>in with a hammer?"
>
>
>
>1st Place
>
>And the winner is . . .
>
>This happened at a major Australian University, during a
biology
>lecture.
>
>A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A
>young woman raised her hand and asked, if I understand you correctly,
>you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar? The
>professor responded, yes, that's correct adding some statistical data to
>his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, then why doesn't it
>taste sweet?
>
>After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor
>girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had
>inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word,
>walked out of the class.
>
>However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a
>classic.
>
>Totally straight faced, he answered her question. It doesn't taste
sweet
>because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and
>not in the back of your throat
>
