fart football

[tonksy]

Fart Football

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score!"

Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

 

[Mare]

...the silly things when your old to amuse....

 

[unclehobart]

eeeiiiiiwwww ....

 

[tonksy]

okay....new joke but i didn't want to start a whole new thread.....


A police recruit was asked on an exam:

"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

In the blank, he wrote:

"Call for backup."

 

[Professur]

ROFL

 

[lacemyster]

Disgustingly funny!

 

[Oz]

okay....new joke but i didn't want to start a whole new thread.....


A police recruit was asked on an exam:

"What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

In the blank, he wrote:

"Call for backup."

I can appreciate that

 

[tonksy]

another one:
Can You Hear Me Now?

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.

So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

'Here's what you do," said the doctor, "start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for supper?" No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?" Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"

"Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!"