Forgive and forget??? Not likely

IDLEchild

Well-Known Member
It is inate and therefore i am somewhat thankful to be not a forgiving person. I have been called heartless and emotionless fool and yet i am not fazed by that ignorance one bit. What is so great about forgiving anyway? no one derserves to be forgiven...we only forgive because we choose to do so out of pity and guilty concious....now for those who can look past such things then they rightly don't have to fogive anyone and in return not expected to be forgiven.

If i am double crossed, i will rightly so forget of your existence and vice versa. Just because i do not forgive it doesn't mean i do it out of spite...i just don't because i see no need to not sever connections with that person.

Forgiveness for me is weakness? what is it to you? Have you forgiven anyone that you wished to hang for their betrayal or general incompetience? Do you forgive just because you want that certain sorry ass to be in your life?

Many times people confuse the intents of those that are supposedly "heartless"...they aren't by any means...they are just perceptive in my view, more aware and see through so much of trivial social games and wisely choose to be not included in that turbulence.

Being unforgiving and apathetic isn't so bad?.......
 

Philly

New Member
i never forget..........so fuck everyone who lies to me, stabs me in the back, is an asshole, or pisses me off.
 

Sharky

New Member
Forgiveness is cathartic - if you have been wronged, and you forgive that person, the poisons of anger are purged. You feel better. The other person might feel bad about having wronged you, and your forgiveness could help them feel better.

Positivity and optimism have always worked for me, but everybody is different. :shrug:
 

Squiggy

ThunderDick
BCD, it sounds like you're asking us to validate your abrasive ways for general use...I, for one, couldn't do that...
 

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
I have a soon-to-be-ex-wife who expected me to immediately forgive and forget about the time she spent $510 on a camping trip, which led to almost $800 in bounced check charges and bank fees in addition, and $80 worth of collect calls home, and God knows what else. Basically, she spent spent an entire month's income, which took away every dime I got for graduation, and resulted in us having to sell the second car in order to make rent. After that, I'm a terrible person for holding a grudge. This is the same person who will never let me forget the time I said, "that was a slutty thing to do," which is calling her a slut in her eyes.

In any case, I was finally getting past it... and then she took the ATM card out of my wallet while I was asleep and took out $40 right after I told her we had to sit on every dime we had in order to pay the rent on time. And I'm such an evil guy for yelling at her at the top of my lungs, right in her face. And I'm an even worse guy for getting in her purse, taking the ATM card out and cutting it in two (I told her that since she got in my wallet, it's only fair for me to get in her purse).

So my point is that if you forgive too soon and too easily, then you'll just get burned again.
 

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
Another interesting twist to this.

Apologies can only be bestowed upon the victim. Ask us for them all you want but they cannot & should not be granted unless you were directly harmed.

Take American slavery for instance. It is wrong, by todays standards. It was common practice 400 years ago. Yet today, descendents are asking for an apology. From who for whom? I can't apologize for something I had no hand in, If I could, there's nobody alive that was directly affected to apologize too.

We've taken apologies to a ridiculous level. Murder someone & apologize to the court. Why, the victim is forever banished from responding. It is conditional to the victim's ability to acquiesce or repudiate.

back on topic-Some things are forgivable, many aren't. I hope you forgive me for going off an a tangent. ;)
 

chcr

Too cute for words
Forgiveness for me depends entirely on circumstances (as does revenge--the two are not mutually exclusive either).
 

tonksy

New Member
i can forgive all day long....it's the forgetting thats hard. i try, i swear, because i know i am no angel and have done tons of things in my life that i have been forgiven for. anothers action may hurt but you are not the end all be all and forgiveness is the right thing to do....especially if you plan to ever be forgiven yourself.

with that being said i want to apologize to BCD for saying he has a bug up his butt. :(
 

Gonz

molṑn labé
Staff member
I accept :rofl3:

Forgiveness should not preclude forgetting. It's impossible to erase from memory a wrong done. Time will heal that wound & until it does, if you don't want things thrown back in your face, don't screw up.
 

Thulsa Doom

New Member
Buttcrackdivine said:
Forgiveness for me is weakness? what is it to you?

well I see it as the opposite. I see it as a strength. And holding gruges is actually the weakness. And I say this as a person who holds grudges for ever....

Those people who I have observed can forgive and move on seem happier and better off. They are resilient and can put their focus on other things more relevant to their life and their success. Those of us who keep grudges and let them stew and eat at us and cant ever get past them keep ourselves at a disadvantage I think. And I think this is true in a strictly biological sense. Not just as some high minded moral philosophy of life.
 

Ms Ann Thrope

New Member
staying angry is just too friggin' exhausting... besides, if I'm truly pissed off at someone, why give them the satisfaction of remaining upset? I just move on to other things... :D
 

Kawaii

Well-Known Member
I can usually act like i've forgiven someone, but i'm actually brooding over it deep down. Just the way i'm wired. :shrug:
 

Luis G

<i><b>Problemator</b></i>
Staff member
CydCharisse said:
I can forgive...but I never, ever forget

That's the way it works for me, but with time i get to actually forget 'cause I don't care anymore.
 

Aunty Em

Well-Known Member
Forgiveness, interesting, do I forgive wrongs done to me............ generally I would say no.

I just become emotionally detached from the person and therefore neither they nor their act have any further relevance.
 

catocom

Well-Known Member
Buttcrackdivine said:
Forgiveness for me is weakness? ..

I must be really week....
It seems the same people shit on me over and over again. :spank:
Mostly just one family member though. :D

I'm kinda along the lines there with Gonz.
I forgive fairly quickly, but I hardly ever forget ,... wait a minute,...
now what was I saying. :confused: :D
 

Starya

New Member
I can forgive. Depends on the case. As far as my ex is concerned, I just stopped caring. Not worth any waste of energy.
 

IDLEchild

Well-Known Member
Squiggy said:
BCD, it sounds like you're asking us to validate your abrasive ways for general use...I, for one, couldn't do that...

You're the only one who read completely wrong into this here. My abrasive ways are just that.....i don't care what you think of them. I am talking about fogiveness not of petty things but things that can sever relationships and cause life long bitterness between two people.
 

IDLEchild

Well-Known Member
Philly said:
i never forget..........so fuck everyone who lies to me, stabs me in the back, is an asshole, or pisses me off.


What are the limits to this anger? Does it even include mild and petty happenings?
 
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