Friendship to the next level?
- Thread starter Stkshft
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Will you marry me, gf?greenfreak
New Member
I most certainly would have if you asked me four years ago! 
a13antichrist
New Member
I have a lot of tact, I just never use it.. 
That goes for everything. If she appreciates you, and she's mature enough to be the kind of friend you can appreciate too, it won't make the slightest difference to your work relationship either. And even if she doesn't want to go any further, at least you can stop pining for her and get on with being her damn friend. The most unsexy thing for a man to be (apart from incredibly smelly) is unconfident.
Girls don't hate guys they've turned down. The only time this is ever a problem is for guys that take it as a blow to their manhood if a girl rejects them, and that each time they see the chick again they think the chick is laughing at them and thinking how far you are from being enough of a man to go out with her.
If that's not you, then you've got absolutely nothing to fear from telling her what you think could be beneficial for the both of you.
PuterTutor said:
That goes for everything. If she appreciates you, and she's mature enough to be the kind of friend you can appreciate too, it won't make the slightest difference to your work relationship either. And even if she doesn't want to go any further, at least you can stop pining for her and get on with being her damn friend. The most unsexy thing for a man to be (apart from incredibly smelly) is unconfident.
Girls don't hate guys they've turned down. The only time this is ever a problem is for guys that take it as a blow to their manhood if a girl rejects them, and that each time they see the chick again they think the chick is laughing at them and thinking how far you are from being enough of a man to go out with her.
If that's not you, then you've got absolutely nothing to fear from telling her what you think could be beneficial for the both of you.
chcr
Too cute for words
My two cents: I used to play guitar in bars. I asked almost everyone. (This was before AIDS, mostly) I got turned down a lot. If she's really a friend, she'll answer you honestly, yes or no, and you'll go on from there. Make sure she understands that you value the friendship regardless of the answer. Like GF says, in my experience it's better to find out than agonize over it.
BlurOfSerenity
New Member
to share my own experience:
my boyfriend was one of my two best friends. but i had THE biggest crush on him. it was driving me crazy.
yeah, i was afraid that it would ruin the friendship, and that's what had me going so long without asking him.
but i couldnt take it anymore.
...and i think we could still be friends, even if the bf/gf thing fell thru.
that, in my opinion, is an indicator of a true friendship.
my boyfriend was one of my two best friends. but i had THE biggest crush on him. it was driving me crazy.
yeah, i was afraid that it would ruin the friendship, and that's what had me going so long without asking him.
but i couldnt take it anymore.
...and i think we could still be friends, even if the bf/gf thing fell thru.
that, in my opinion, is an indicator of a true friendship.
halamikage
New Member
I went through a similar thing as ash. I was friends with ex-bf for 8 years. It wasn't until going into our 8th year as friends that I realized that I liked him more than a friend. I agonized for months and months before finally I just asked. (Of course, with some help of some friends and asking them what they thought of the situation, how would we be as a couple, what do they think he would think, blah blah blah) We got together, but needless to say, it didn't work out. We're trying to build up our friendship again. I'm trying to put the hurt aside but when it comes down to it, there's no other friend that can replace him. 
So I'm trying my darnedest to "get over" the situation and enjoy our friendship while I can.
I can soooooo see where you're coming from with not wanting to ruin the friendship. But through the hurt and the pain, I don't have the "I wonder" or "what if" pangs anymore. I did it, it happened...now...the only thing to do is "move on"
*turns around*
*moves on*
So I'm trying my darnedest to "get over" the situation and enjoy our friendship while I can. I can soooooo see where you're coming from with not wanting to ruin the friendship. But through the hurt and the pain, I don't have the "I wonder" or "what if" pangs anymore. I did it, it happened...now...the only thing to do is "move on"
*turns around*
*moves on*