Georgian Vasectomy

[A.B.Normal]

After having their 11th child, a North Georgia Mountain couple decided 11

was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to

his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any

more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could

fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said

the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the

North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold

the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world,

but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is

going to help me." "Trust me, " said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held

the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5" ...........

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed

counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Kentucky,

Mississippi, West Virginia, Arkansas and parts of Missouri

 

[catocom]

(fireworks are legal in the North Georgia Mountains)

Somebody lied you man. State-wide ban on um.

 

[tonksy]

they's legal in alabama.

 

[catocom]

Thye are in SC too.

 

[K62]

bahahahaha

I like it

 

[SouthernN'Proud]

Now just imagine if this had been presented in the context of Alamathea, a resident of the NYC housing project, and her shacked-up pimpin' old man LeeRoy.

Not quite as funny, is it? Not quite as easy to tell it in the office that way, huh?

And people wonder why I get pissed.

 

[catocom]

Most of the people in the mountainous areas round here,
that can't count to 10 in there head, are also missing finger(s),
or hands.

 

[chcr]

Now just imagine if this had been presented in the context of Alamathea, a resident of the NYC housing project, and her shacked-up pimpin' old man LeeRoy.

Not quite as funny, is it? Not quite as easy to tell it in the office that way, huh?

And people wonder why I get pissed.

I disagree, it's every bit as funny. You're right about getting in trouble for telling it though.

 

[MrBishop]

Now just imagine if this had been presented in the context of Alamathea, a resident of the NYC housing project, and her shacked-up pimpin' old man LeeRoy.

Not quite as funny, is it? Not quite as easy to tell it in the office that way, huh?

And people wonder why I get pissed.

Its stereotypes and although wrong 90% of the time...they do make for good jokes. Hard to make jokes without'em, in fact.

Up here, we slag the Newfies (People from New Foundland - like Nixy f'r instance) .. some people slag Blondes ... sure, blondes complain when they remember to, but where would we be without blond jokes

 

[HomeLAN]

Now just imagine if this had been presented in the context of Alamathea, a resident of the NYC housing project, and her shacked-up pimpin' old man LeeRoy.

Not quite as funny, is it? Not quite as easy to tell it in the office that way, huh?

And people wonder why I get pissed.

Psst - While I see your point....it's a joke.

 

[Uki Chick]

There are jokes making fun of everyone these days, we just need to be able to take the joke.

 

[tonksy]

There are jokes making fun of everyone these days, we just need to be able to take the joke.

take a joke? are you kidding? that's not the american way! i'm suing for damages to my precious little self esteem! i'm so demoralized!

 

[MrBishop]

take a joke? are you kidding? that's not the american way! i'm suing for damages to my precious little self esteem! i'm so demoralized!

Shhh...the lawyers will hear you!

*MrBishop points to Tonksy's new ring

"Look...shiny!"

*MrBishop runs

 

[Uki Chick]

Shhh...the lawyers will hear you!

*MrBishop points to Tonksy's new ring

"Look...shiny!"

*MrBishop runs

There's one way or trying to keep her mind on something. You better run fast Bish!

 

[Nixy]

Hell, I'd find this joke just as funny if it was about a Newfie

And, as Bish pointed out...I AM one of dem folks

 

[Gato_Solo]

Now just imagine if this had been presented in the context of Alamathea, a resident of the NYC housing project, and her shacked-up pimpin' old man LeeRoy.

Not quite as funny, is it? Not quite as easy to tell it in the office that way, huh?

And people wonder why I get pissed.

Still sounds funny to me.

 

[Professur]

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition....., the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" Button on the stupid phone!!!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again,
opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!" (Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

 

[BB]

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

 

[chcr]

How can you tell a blond has been using the computer?
White-Out on the monitor screen.

What do blonds call white cotton panties?
Ankle warmers.

What's the differenc between a blond and a 747?
Everyone hasn't been inside a 747.

What do you call a brunette standing between to blonds?
An interpreter.

 

[Gonz]

I disagree, it's every bit as funny. You're right about getting in trouble for telling it though.