Guy walks into a bar with an alligator...

Inkara1

Inkara1

Well-Known Member
So a guy walks into a bar with an alligator, and he asks if anyone will buy him a drink if he sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth. Everyone in the bar says they want to see that, so he whips out his dick and puts it in the alligator's mouth. The gator closes his mouth and holds it there for about a minute, then the guy hits the alligator with a beer bottle and it opens its mouth and he pulls it out. The bar patrons are suitably impressxed and he gets a few beers out of it.

A few minutes later, he asks if anyone else wants to try it. This dude comes up and says, "Yeah, I'll try it... just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle."
 
I wouldn't whack a gator with anything shorter than a baseball bat...which reminds me of a story so funny it brings tears to my eyes even these many years later.
 
I think I have before...but:
So I worked for this total dumbass of a cajun before I had kids. Things never went well for him, be it bad luck or a lack of brain cells. Anyway, he was driving home along one of the bayou road late at night and the car in front of him veers out of the way of something and he can see that it is a gator.
This guy thinks it might be dead so he edges the car close to it to see if it'll move. When it doesn't he gets out and takes a look. He ends up giving it a kick as a test. Seems dead enough....and being a cajun he is not the type to pass up on some free gator meat so he picks it up and puts it in the trunk and continues home.
When he gets home he is excited to go about the butchering and storing of his meat. he goes in the house and gets the tools and such required for the job. He comes back several minutes later and opens the trunk to have this gator leap out at him all pissed off. Lucky he had a baseball bat nearby and managed to brain the thing before it could do much harm.
Just a friendly reminder that gators play possum and the best way to ensure a gator is deceased is a bullet to the head not a kick to the side.
 
Got this off a bow site I frequent, from a vet.

Not hunting related, but I still get a kick out of this one.

About once a year, I get a client that brings his (it's always a guy) dog in for me to remove "ticks" from the dogs belly.

Me: Uhh, those aren't ticks, those are his nipples.
Client: But he's a boy dog doc.
Me: Do you have nipples?
Client: UHHHH, maybe that's why he got so mad when I tried to pull them out?
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