Well, I've had some success...I found some info about networking problems and I reinstalled 2k by rerunning setup over the original install and added a protocol to Local area connection properties. So now I can click on "entire network" and "computers near me" and actually end up inside the shared files of the computer I'm on, but still no connection to the other one.
Hopefully I should get the crossover cable in the morning as it was sent this evening, or at least I usually do when it's sent from that particular supplier, so I will connect the comps up via that and see if they communicate... I suspect they will now. So all that remains is for me to read the online manual in depth and see what else needs configuring on the router....