How do I break it to my folks...

Spirit said:
Perhaps they aren't as stuck on the whole *You must marry Polish girl* thing as you might think. I mean - they *did* move to America. ? Did they move you in to a Polish area of town? Where do they want you to meet a Polish gal? Hmmm....
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Believe it or not, a lot of parents have that mentality. My parents always wanted me to date and hang around ukrainian guys. I was part of the dance group, a youth association, the church, saturday school, etc. There are communities everywhere.
 
I don't have anything against people coming to Canada but people need to think before they move here...they're moving into a multicultural society and they need to ACCEPT the other cultures and ACCEPT that these cultures will more than likely become a part of their lives through the people they meet and see everyday...everyone has to make sacrifices...we can no longer sing Christmas songs in our schools due to some cultures not celebrating it...if you're gonna come here you have to be accepting of other cultures cause the people who are already here have to be.

There's a line between being PROUD of your heritage and wanting to keep it alive and being un accepting of others and to many people dance along and/or cross that line daily.

For example, I have a friend whose parents are Polish...her whole family celebrates christmas and the like with Polish traditions and many of their family friends are Polish and they speak Polish at home sometimes...BUT she is dating a non Polish guy...her parents have no problem with this, have accepted him into their lives and even took him on vacation with them last year...they are PROUD of their heritage and traditions but accept people into their lives for who they are...not what their background is. I think they've got it right :)
 
Nixy said:
we can no longer sing Christmas songs in our schools due to some cultures not celebrating it...if you're gonna come here you have to be accepting of other cultures cause the people who are already here have to be.
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Am I the only one to notice the hypocrisy here? (Not calling Nixy a hypocrite)

We can't do this because it offends...but we must all be willing to accept others...

That's the exact mentality that will soon destroy us all. If I'm going to accept someone else's ways, customs, whatever, then they're damn sure gonna accept mine, or at the very least quit trying to eradicate them. I am sick and tired of being told I can't do this in public, or say that, or wear this, because it might offend person X, then person X turning right around and eliminating my ways and customs. It's exponentially stupid to allow it.

I am all for anyone celebrating their heritage, their uniqueness, their customs, their holidays, their way of life...any or all of it. But in the same breath, you will not take mine away from me in the name of "I'm offended". And with the statement I just highlighted, that's precisely what was described. So if that's what it takes to be accepted in Canada...long(er) live Dixie.
 
SNP, totally agree with you. My parents for instance were born here. Our ukrainian traditions are kept but we adapt as well. My grandparents adapted to the customs here as well. For instance, we celebrate Christmas with everyone on Dec. 25th, but at the same time, we celebrate Ukrainian Christmas in January as well. We do both. The exchange of gifts is usually done on the 25th like everyone else in the world. Same with Easter, we celebrate both. It's a matter of adapting, which, as you said, other cultures don't seem to want to at times and complain about it.

It makes me sick that people want us to respect their cultures, then can't respect ours. It goes both ways, and if they don't like it, stay in your own country. It might sound harsh, because they immigrate to start better lives, but we end up paying for the consequences.
 
Uki Chick said:
Believe it or not, a lot of parents have that mentality. My parents always wanted me to date and hang around ukrainian guys. I was part of the dance group, a youth association, the church, saturday school, etc. There are communities everywhere.
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My folks had me doing all that fun stuff stuff. On Saturday's I would go to "Polish School" to learn how to read, write, and improve my verbal communication skills in Polish, Always have attended a Polish church in part of a town close by that had a huge Polish influence to it, was in a Polish acting group, my folks even had me try a Polka class (hides in shame lol). When I was younger I hated almost every minute of it...but as I get older, I am kinda thankful they put me through it. Who would of guessed being fluent in Polish would help me me alot in my feild of work. Turns out most of the construction workers and contractors in my part of the state are Polish owned/run lol.

I just think thier pushing it to the extreme of me only dating Polish girls and end up marrying one. I'm not saying I want to marry my current GF yet...only been togehter for 2 months, BUT who knows...maybe in the near or far future...things might work out...or they might not work out. I can understand how my parents want to keep the pure 100% bloodline in the family, but living in the states...it's a bit harder...alot more multiculutral people...I mean...merica isn't called the melting pot for nothing lol. I just wish they could see that. Be a different story if I was living in Poland where 98% of the population is Poles lol.
 
Uki Chick said:
It makes me sick that people want us to respect their cultures, then can't respect ours. It goes both ways, and if they don't like it, stay in your own country. It might sound harsh, because they immigrate to start better lives, but we end up paying for the consequences.
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That is what I was trying to say...and also that I feel hating someone just because of their religion or nationality isn't right...if someone is in love and their parents REFUSE to accept/acknowledge the relationship because of the other person's nationality or background then that isn't right...obviously the two people IN the relationship have found a way to be together despite the cultural difference...if someone thinks their nationality is over and above all others in everyway then WHY come to Canada where we not only have our OWN culture but also many other cultures represented...if you think it's your way or no way then stay where ya came from cause we don't want ya! That should be Canada's slogan :D
 
My brother married a girl from a very traditional Indian family (dot not feather). At first it was rough, her father declared her dead, her brother tried to beat my brother up(my brother is ex 82nd Airborne, it didn't work.), her mother snuck around and managed to see her daughter for over a year before her father finally relented and invited him and her to dinner. He is now almost a favorite son-in-law, but he had to concede to some of the Indian traditions to get there also.

Just prepare your girlfriend, she will probalby be regarded as the root of all evil for some time, and that can be rough on her and you. If you're willing to stick it out and make it work, I'm sure they will come around eventually.
 
Is it true that the dot means that the woman is married? I've heard that, but haven't been able to confirm it...
 
when we 1st started hanging out...I told my folks I really liked this girl...they didnt take that too well. So now how do I break it to them...that we're dating...because I really want to bring her home, have my family meet her, and be able to interact within my family.
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You know there's nothing wrong with her. They have no reason to act like it's a big problem. So you can try to break them in slowly...although you shouldn't have to.

Once I was 18 and lived on my own I really stopped caring so much what my parents disapproved of. If they wanted to give me a bunch of crap about something ridiculous I didn't really need to talk to them.

As a result of my parents wanting to keep getting visits and phone calls they have become way more open-minded over the years. We get along better than ever now.

I know a 40+ year old man (also happens to be polish) who still has his parents running him and worries all the time about it. He's also got an ulcer. Trust me, you don't want to be like him.
 
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