How to breach a tough subject

MrBishop

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
My wife's best friend just went to the ultrasound and got good news and bad news.

Good news - She was carrying twins.
Bad news - She was carrying twins.

About 9 weeks along, she miscarried.

She and her husband are good friends of ours. I'm sure that they know that we're horribly sorry for their loss, but how would you best approach it? She called MrsBish to let her know and I'm sure that MrsBish gave our immediate condolences.

Obviously, I don't want to wait too long to give my condolences. I also don't want to be part of the rush of people who I'm sure are crowding her and her husband (mostly family). They'll need some time.

How would you deal with such a situation?
 
Sympathetic candor. When you see them, let them know that any words of yours would either be inadequate or something they've already heard. Then assure them that you're there for them, you'll always BE there for them, and leave it at that.
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
Sympathetic candor. When you see them, let them know that any words of yours would either be inadequate or something they've already heard. Then assure them that you're there for them, you'll always BE there for them, and leave it at that.
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It'd be on the phone. They don't live all that close and we don't get to see them as often as we'd like.

Of course, prayers are already on their way. For strength in trying times.

Thanks
 
Sometimes it is better off to just not mention anything. Just be supportive and let them know that you are there for them if they need you, just like everyone here is saying. It's a tough enough situation and the last thing they need is more reminders.
 
well .. first let me say how sorry I am for your friends' loss.

and to answer the question .. it might just be 'me' but, I sure do hope your friends don't visit this board. I mean, if it were me in her shoes, the last thing I'd want to see my very personal (and painful) business on display, including names, because you were worried about how to offer condolensces. A quiet hug would suffice. Irony abounds. But like I said, it might be just 'me'. :shrug:
 
I honestly don't know.

If it were me, it would all depend on a lot of things. I would accept words and condolensces and hugs from certain people, and from other people, I would snap. Then again, if one of those people got me at the wrong time, I would still probably snap.

You just don't know how you would handle it until you are forced into that situation.
 
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