I am Canadian

ahh, the first one still gives me chills

"bob, you mean office bob? he died"

was another great one
 
past some of the others

beaver ad

and the reasons to be proud to be a canadian:

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass & Krispy Kreme Too

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who
was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.

14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing...but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.
Click to expand...
 
Wish that I had sound at work...it'd make this a whole whack funier :)

Thanks Paul...makes me want to go out, wave a flag, smoke a joint and legally download MP3s :)
 
Almost makes me want to become Canadian....if it weren't for the fact that Canadians are just undercover Americans anyway ;)

Played a general knowledge boardgame the other day, where one person has to describe something on the card (without using the words appearing on the card). I had to explain 'Alaska' - so I said that it's probably the coldest American state......my brilliant team mate guessed Canada...and if a stoned South African says it's so it has to be right ;)
 
Finally got to see them in full motion :) Loverly!!!

I AM NOT CANADIAN!!!
I'm not unemployed,
Or smuggling cigarette across the border,
I don't eat Pepsi and Mae West for breakfast,
I don't watch the hockey game doing it doggie style And no, I don't know Claude, Manon, or Francois in Abitibi, Timiskaming
But I'm, sure they all have nice teeth. I smoke in church,
I speak Quebeqious and joile,
Not French or English. I pronounce it TURD, not THIRD,
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon hostie. I believe in distinct society,
As long as someone else pays for it.
I believe in language police, not equal rights. And calis, I beleive that Club SuperSex is an appropriate place
For my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire.
What the hell, she goes on at 10 anyway. In Quebec, the Stanley Cup actually comes around
More often than Halley's Comet.
I can get beer at the depanneur,
Not the convenience store. And maybe I can't turn right on a red light,
But tabernac, I can go right through it! Because Quebec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup,
The home of Celine Dion, AND Roch Voisine.
The land where everybody is shackin' up,
And the legal drinking age is just a suggestion. Je m'appele Guy,
AND I AM NOT CANADIAN!! Mautadit, tabernac hostie.
Merci, salut la visite.
 
I am NOT CptKirk!!

Shatner I am not Captain Kirk!
Hey, I'm not a Starfleet Commander or T.J. Hooker.
I don't live on Starship NCC dash 1701 or own a phaser.
I don't know anyone named Bones, Sulu or Spock.
And no, I've never had Green Alien Sex -- although
I'm sure it would be quite an evening.
I speak English and French, not Klingon.
I drink Labatt's, not Romulan Ale.
And when someone says to me, 'Live long and prosper,'
I seriously mean it when I say 'Get a life!'
My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's Ginsberg.
And Tribbles were puppets! Not real animals!! Puppets!!!
And when I speak, I never, ever, talk / like / every /
word / is / its / own / sentence!
I live in California, but I was raised in Montreal.
I believe in Priceline Dot Com, where you never have to
pay full price for airline tickets, hotels and car rentals.
I have appeared on stage at Stratford, Carnegie Hall,
Albert Hall and at the Monkland Theatre in NDG
(Notre Dame de Grace).
And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before. But
I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission.
My name is William Shatner and I AM CANADIAN
 
Re: I am NOT CptKirk!!

MrBishop said:
Shatner I am not Captain Kirk!
Hey, I'm not a Starfleet Commander or T.J. Hooker. I don't live on Starship NCC dash 1701 or own a phaser. I don't know anyone named Bones, Sulu or Spock. And no, I've never had Green Alien Sex -- although
I'm sure it would be quite an evening. I speak English and French, not Klingon. I drink
Labatt's, not Romulan Ale. And when someone says to me, 'Live long and prosper,'
I seriously mean it when I say 'Get a life!' My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's Ginsberg. And Tribbles were puppets! Not real animals!! Puppets!!! And when I speak, I never, ever, talk / like / every /
word / is / its / own / sentence! I live in California, but I was raised in Montreal. I believe in Priceline Dot Com, where you never have to
pay full price for airline tickets, hotels and car rentals. I have appeared on stage at Stratford, Carnegie Hall,
Albert Hall and at the Monkland Theatre in NDG
(Notre Dame de Grace). And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before. But
I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission. My name is William Shatner and I AM CANADIAN
Click to expand...


for those of you thinking this is a joke, Mr. Shatner actually did this
 
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