In honour of stupid people (oldie but a goodie)

MrBishop

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.



On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).



On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?



On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?



On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)





On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)



On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(as opposed to...what)?


On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)





On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)



On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)



On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

 
Just cause I want Nix to piss herself at work :)


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. 'Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
 
Here's one: You know those towel loop machines with the cloth towel that comes down in a loop and you move the loop on into the machine after use? Well on the machine is says; Do not put head through loop and attempt to swing from machine.
 
the bad thing is, you just know there are dumbasses out there that are the reason those labels are on those products.
 
I like those plastic bags that toys come in with the label that say...

"Warning: Keep this bag away from babies and children. Do not use in cribs, beds, carriages or playpens."

SOMEBODY had to do that, or somebody had to think somebody else was stupid enough to do that, in order to warrant this label. Has the world decided that stupid people should be rewarded for their stupidity? What's going on?
 
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