Interfering Exes

AlphaTroll

AlphaTroll

New Member
So, I have this little situation with an ex. We broke up a while ago after being together for about a year or so. Recently I met someone else and I think this could be the beginning of something great.

Unfortunately the ex & I move in the same social circles. At first it was OK, after all we are both adults and I thought we could at least maintain a decorum of civility. Seems this is not the case after all. I now hear from a friend that the ex has been badmouthing me to all and sundry and for some reason blames my new man for the break-up (despite that fact that we only met a while after the previous relationship went to shit). It's become rather irritating being in the same company as the ex - he never lets an opportunity go by to have a little dig at me (and lately my new man) whenever we're with friends.

I think he's bloody childish and want to tell him off, but I am unsure how to go about it because I don't want to cause problems with the group of friends. It's also causing a little tension in my new relationship, mostly because we are both fed up with the ex and his moronic comments.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with exes who constantly feel the need to interfere in new relationships?
 
AlphaTroll said:
So, I have this little situation with an ex. We broke up a while ago after being together for about a year or so. Recently I met someone else and I think this could be the beginning of something great.

Unfortunately the ex & I move in the same social circles. At first it was OK, after all we are both adults and I thought we could at least maintain a decorum of civility. Seems this is not the case after all. I now hear from a friend that the ex has been badmouthing me to all and sundry and for some reason blames my new man for the break-up (despite that fact that we only met a while after the previous relationship went to shit). It's become rather irritating being in the same company as the ex - he never lets an opportunity go by to have a little dig at me (and lately my new man) whenever we're with friends.

I think he's bloody childish and want to tell him off, but I am unsure how to go about it because I don't want to cause problems with the group of friends. It's also causing a little tension in my new relationship, mostly because we are both fed up with the ex and his moronic comments.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with exes who constantly feel the need to interfere in new relationships?
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ignore them, it's not worth your time dealing with the pettyness
 
You know, this thread reminds me of someone... Not sure who... Lemme think. Wait for it.... It's on the tip of my brain... *cough*Paul&Les *cough*
 
Sucks to realize that you spent a year with
an adolescent?

Try this angle?

One of the rules I beat into my kid as a young teen was:

Never bad mouth an Ex, it only says that you were
with someone that you have (had) a low estimation of
and it doesn’t do anything but make you look bad.

No wait that only works among adults and this guy is clearly a brat!

Nah Gonz she can’t change circles, she lives in a puddle.

This all sounds like High School don't it?
 
It's called redirection of anger and it's incredibly childish. I suppose it makes the ex feel validated or something. Builds themself up while tearing you down.
I would think a nice reminder that you left your ex well before meeting your current might do the trick.
I know all splits can't go as amicably as mine did but I am sorry for the needless drama you have to deal with.
You know what's bad though? Now all of your old mutual friends are going to feel like they have to choose between you guys. Hope your ex is ready to lose some friends for no good damn reason because I am sure that your friends will look to the facts of the matter before making a decision.
 
Any mutual friends that matter will see through what he's doing.

Conduct yourself in a business as usual fashion, associate with those mature enough to evaluate the mess appropriately, and let him have the others. You'll come out better off.
 
Ignore him, ignore anyone who stands behind him and just know that you're happier with the person you are with now. Anyone else that has something to say, tell them to shove it.
 
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