Its so hard being a single parent!

Mare

Mare

New Member
I Love my children to death! And I would do and I am doing all in my power to raise and teach them the right way. And they truely are good boys. But I just feel like I need more than a sitter for overnight outings. Just feel like I need "ME" time. It sucks being a single parent, it really does. Someday, I hope and pray these boys see everything I have given up for them! :crying4:
 
One of the reasons for my preaching. It takes two...for balance, for spirit & for peace of mind. On the ocassions when that is not possible, it hurts everybody involved. They may not be worthy. You won't know that until long after the fact. However, it almost undoubtedly will be if you teach them right from wrong & give them a moral base & compass. It is your thankless & tiresome job. Keep it up & stay strong. We're counting on you. More importantly, they're counting on you.
 
Mare said:
I Love my children to death! And I would do and I am doing all in my power to raise and teach them the right way. And they truely are good boys. But I just feel like I need more than a sitter for overnight outings. Just feel like I need "ME" time. It sucks being a single parent, it really does. Someday, I hope and pray these boys see everything I have given up for them! :crying4:
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You know, that part sounds overly selfish. The less I would expect is having mom thinking what she does for us is a sacrifice instead of a joy, but that's just me.
 
Luis G said:
You know, that part sounds overly selfish. The less I would expect is having mom thinking what she does for us is a sacrifice instead of a joy, but that's just me.
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It is a sacrifice at times. I have seen my mom do the opposite of what she'd like to do for herself for the good of me and my brother. Just because one is a parent doesn't mean they cease to be human and it doesn't mean they magically no longer have needs of their own...the good ones just suck it up and put their kids first and it's what they WANT to do for their children but I'm sure that sometimes it's still sacrifices.
 
"Me"-time? Wouldn't know what to do with it anyways.

I have had a sitter (not overnight) for the Critter a whole two times since I became single and moved away from where my family lives. Before that, he has occasionally slept over at granny's place or his uncle, when we lived close to them. He spends two weeks a year and every other easter/x-mas with his father and grandmother. And sometimes he'll sleep over at a friend's house. Truth be told, when I'm alone, I do whatever I'd be doing when he's at home. But, that's just me. I do get it when I hear others say they need alone-time to do whatever they'd be doing.

As for sacrifices.. I really hate it when he hogs the computer. I really do. :mope:

But, I would never want him to see I have given anything up for him. To me, it doesn't feel like I have. This is the situation I live in, so we just take it from there. No sacrifices, just alterations, if you know what I mean.
 
i dont think you're selfish at all, mare. you work hard, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way... just try not to lose your cool. if your kids know you feel overwhelmed by them at times they might not deal with it too well. just know that hard work does pay off. and we're here for you.
 
There definetly are sacrafices I go through and I'm not saying I don't or wouldn't go through them even if I was with their "father"...[eh-emmm]...
I wouldn't trade these sacrifices for ANYTHING in the world, because this is my life and I Love being a mother, a teacher, a nurse, a provider, etc....it does get very overwelming at times and you look at them and think "keep it together-don't show them you not in control". My children make alot of sacrifices right now, because I cannot give them all I would like too, but the most important thing I CAN give them right now is all my love! So, you go in the shower and cry your eyes out, so they never see you cry. Then your wondering whats going on in their minds, Does... she love me, Does... she even care, Why does she not let me do this or that. "I'M" always the bad guy to them right now." And then you have those moments where they come up to you and say, "I Love you mom" and hug and kiss you, and your heart just melts...for me, I always say "I Love You More", and grab them and hug them, with the biggest smile i have! :D

As for the alone time....EVERYONE needs time to themselves! I know this is the time in my life where I give all of me for all of them, and I will have time in life for me later, but it would be soooooo nice to have that "ME" time.
They could NEVER spend a night with their Father....He has not the mentality or well-being of knowing how to take care of them in any perspective of life. He is just a voice on the other end of a phone call twice a month, that makes a promise that I have to fix when they are heart broken.
As for being selfish-that I am not! If I had only a pea to eat, I would do without just so my children could eat, As any parent would do. A parents job is never done, even when their babies are all grown and on their own. Again, that "ME" time would just make it alittle easier to be the best I can be for them! :)
 
Gonz said:
It takes two...for balance, for spirit & for peace of mind. QUOTE]


Yes, my dear, You are absolutely right! :swing: :D


But when there cannot be two, and there is not two??? It is very easy to break a spirit, and loose a peace of mind!
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They could NEVER spend a night with their Father....He has not the mentality or well-being of knowing how to take care of them in any perspective of life.
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Yeah. I know all about that one.. Well, now that the kid is (almost) 12 and has more or less passed his dad in maturity and intelligence, he can stay overnight (only one night) when we're in those neck of the woods. Any more than that only happens when the grandma is present.

PS Looking back at my previous post, I see it may perhaps be interpreted as criticism, just wanted to point out that this is not the case at all
 
Mare .. luckily, i have family that helped (and helps) me with my kids. They're older now - teenagers - so finding 'me' time is not a problem .. they understand it. Take what 'me' time you can and don't get hung up on overnight 'me' time ... that will come in time. *hug*
 
It's not selfish, it's reality and just trying to stay sane.

Steal it where you can, Mare, it's all you can do. Do stupid silly little things to spoil yourself, a chocolate bar with the groceries, or an extra dollar on the better shampoo once in a while. Take a bath after you've stuck them on the video game so they will be zombies for half an hour. Or, just make sure you get even an hour of alone time a day. I've given up sleep to get it. So if one happens to be up late or it was an extra grumpy day, I'll stay up a bit longer so that I still have time for myself.
 
ooohh yeah .. shampoo is a big deal for me .. Paul Mitchell ... only Paul Mitchell .. and kona coffee .. i'm a snob about those things ..

Mare .. give yourself a facial too every once in a while . .it's helpful :)
 
Gonz said:
One of the reasons for my preaching. It takes two...for balance, for spirit & for peace of mind. On the ocassions when that is not possible, it hurts everybody involved. They may not be worthy. You won't know that until long after the fact. However, it almost undoubtedly will be if you teach them right from wrong & give them a moral base & compass. It is your thankless & tiresome job. Keep it up & stay strong. We're counting on you. More importantly, they're counting on you.
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Very well said.
 
nalani said:
Mare .. give yourself a facial too every once in a while . .it's helpful :)
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For the first time about 3 wks ago I had a pedicure done-OMG- I felt like I was in Heaven after that-it was definetly a treat! :D
 
It's definately easier with two...but there's usually a part of the day that can be reserved for 'me time'. usually at the end of the day. Do what you can to stay sane...for their behalf. :)


Pedicure? Damn woman...if you have time for that, I'd have gotten a massage :)
 
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