Lunch, ruined: A Tirade

SouthernN'Proud

SouthernN'Proud

Southern Discomfort
So.

I'm sitting in a little local mom-n-pop place having a nice quiet lunch. Chef salad with honey mustard for the record. Quite good, actually.

As I am consuming this meal, 2 ladies in their late 50s/early 60s come in and sit at the booth behind me. Groovy. Not a problem.

The waitress asks them (as she is delivering food to a nearby table), "What can I get y'all to drink?"

One of them (let's call her Mildred) pipes up in that damn obnoxious New England sorry ass excuse for a dialect "Y'ALL??!!!"

Our waitress apparently doesn't catch the tone, and says "Yeah, what can I get you sugar?"

At this point her friend (we'll call her Hazel) pipes up with "SUGAR??!!" That is no way to address a customer!"

Mildred: "Oh for Pete's sake, this is just unacceptable. How are women supposed to advance in this world when we speak this way?"

Hazel: "I guess we just need to remember where were are."

SnP, turning in the booth to face them: "Yes, I think that's a mighty fine idea, sugar. Remember where you are, and if you need directions or an escort back to Interstate 81 north you just let me know. You're in Dixie now, SUGAR. It's how we talk."




Amazingly, they didn't leave. I received two of the blankest stares in memory, and a grateful look from the waitress. I also realized I had lost my appetite.

Wonder if they were brave enough to actually eat what they were served.

Normally, I would have just minded my own business and gotten a giggle out of it. But for some reason, it just rubbed me wrong today. Should the cruel hand of fate ever require that I be anywhere north of Dixie, I intend to let the locals run their own lives without my help, and to just privately laugh at them a few dozen times a day. Guess it's too much to expect in return though.







Sugar. :p :laugh:
 
At least you had the pleasure of unloading on your offenders.

I went to lunch with the broker for our group health insurance. About 10 minutes into our meal, a family with three children takes the next table. Their little girl threw a perfect screaming fit for about 8 minutes. Since I was not on my own, I had to settle for a loud comment about the amazing variety of parenting styles out there.

Went right over the fuckers' heads, too. I can't imagine mine doing that and still being able to sit down afterward, and they were just ignoring the little bitch.
 
It's something I've noticed that now it seems acceptable to take your kids out and let them run rampant. A great birth control, I tell you. :grumpy:

SNP, unfortunately you get idiot people from all walks of life/geographies.
 
It never ceases to amaze me how many people subscribe to the "if you don't talk/think/act/live just as I do there must be something wrong with you" camp. For the record, SnP, several years ago a friend from NY came to visit me here. He stopped to ask directions and couldn't understand the response. He said he asked the guy to repeat himself twice and then left, acting like he understood because "I didn't want the guy thinking we're all morons in yankeeland." Of course he had to hunt up a pay phone (cell phones weren't so ubiquitous then) to call me and get directions, but he was embarrassed, he didn't assume the other guy was the idiot. Just shows that we're not all assholes. Not all the time anyway. ;)

In similar circumstances I have said something like, "What a remarkable display of breeding and civility. Do you give ettiquette lessons?" The boyfriend of the bitch in question took offense and they got bounced. It's good to be in the band. Don't forget to tip the bouncers. Note that I did not receive sexual favors from the waitress in question, but not for lack of trying. :D
 
Yeah, idiots and snobs come from all areas. My uncle recently moved his family to Alabama, from St. Louis, for some reason (job I think). He's a great guy, heart of gold, would give you the shirt off his back. He and his family can only make friends with other transplants because the "natives" will not associate with Yankees outside of a work environment. One guy actually said to him (paraphrase) "you are a great guy and all, but if my friends knew I associated with someone like you, they would never forgive me".
 
Fuck the old whores. That is one of the best parts of the south-the civility.
 
Gonz said:
Fuck the old whores. That is one of the best parts of the south-the civility.
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fuck them? I know the southerners want to be welcoming, but that is going a bit to far, just handing out sexual favours.
 
See i always love that part. Its a lot better then the Hey, You...
or just being ignored.
 
quit being an idiot.
these constant little jabs at New England and Massachusetts are getting boring. until you've visited the area and have met the people up here, you are just making sweeping generalizations. its no different then the generalizations that people make about southeners that annoy you.
assholes are assholes. it doesnt matter where they come from.
 
Dave said:
quit being an idiot.
these constant little jabs at New England and Massachusetts are getting boring. until you've visited the area and have met the people up here, you are just making sweeping generalizations. its no different then the generalizations that people make about southeners that annoy you.
assholes are assholes. it doesnt matter where they come from.
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Taste of the medicine not suit you?

I'm still 145 years behind. Lot of catching up to do.

And take heart...yer only getting a fraction of it.
 
You know, those of us "up north" rarely think about "the south". I can go days, weeks, months with out even realizing "the south" exists. We don't sit up here and have meeting about you, thinking of ways we can make fun of and/or make your life miserable. You seem to do a pretty good job of it yourself.

Stop with the multi-cultural BS, man, assimilate or secede ;)

History, read it and weep! (writes Bokonon)
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
Taste of the medicine not suit you?

I'm still 145 years behind. Lot of catching up to do.

And take heart...yer only getting a fraction of it.
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taste of what medicine?

a fraction of what?
 
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