Man's Diary

A.B.Normal

A.B.Normal

New Member
Dear Diary,

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men &
women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole 'Venus and
Mars' thing. I've also never figured out why men think with their head
while women think with their heart. And I've yet have figure out how the
sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears
the words "I do".


One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said: "WHAT??????"


So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet
dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs
as a Woman. I'm thinking: "What was her first clue?". I finally realize
that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.


The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very
expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her
to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the
jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.


Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have
thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she
cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop
when I told her that it was ok. She was so excited by all of this when
she finally said: "I'm ready to go to the cash register".


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No, honey I
don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her
face...... it went completely blank. I then said: "Really honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me I added: "You must not be in tune
with my financial needs as a Man".


I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after
the spring of 2008
Click to expand...

:swing:
 
you mean its not like the Rolling Rock commercial.

women: love, love, love

men: sex, sex, sex, and more sex....... :)
 
:rofl: :rofl4:

OMG!!

I just want you to hold them for a while!! :rofl3:

Oops...just peed myself...hahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

Thanks :)
 
I think a divorce is in order for this couple if he has to wait till the spring of 2008 to get any! That would be tortureous not to mention cruel and unusual punishment!
 
That's a good one, A.B.! :rofl3:

Here's a "She said, He said" :D

HER DIARY:

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and aloof. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and vacant. Finally I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I also fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:

Today the Packers lost, but at least I got laid.
 
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