pass this on or...

paul_valaru

paul_valaru

100% Pure Canadian Beef
Hello, my name is Brian and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Queensland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

Fuck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 pence per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.


Have a nice day.



P.S: Send me 15 quid and then fuck off.
 
i read a really scary chain letter once, where, like, the first word in it was some weird word, and then it said, "now that you've read that word, you have to do this. that word was uttered by a murderer when he killed some girl, blah blah, now if you dont do it, she'll suffocate you in your sleep" or something, and it was SO creepy. i did it, and still was up all night worrying. (i am easily scared and i get paranoid VERY easily, especially when it's dark).
the scary word looked latin, and i translated it, and it roughly meant "sausage", oddly.

conversely, some you just can't take seriously. the other day i saw one where if you didn't do it, "a 6 year old retarded boy will rape you in your sleep". it was in such poor taste and so, just.... wtf?? that i didn't put any worry into it at all.

BUT I HATE CHAIN LETTERS!
 
Hate the little fuckers too...
Especially the lovey dovey ones..the feel-good chain letters.

If I like it, I'll pass it on...to certain people who don't mind.

As for the rest. I put people who send me crap on a mailing list. They get all the crap that I get from other people right back into their email boxes, along with a note saying.
"What hath chain-letter wrought?"
 
But...but...what if some of those folks are hurricane victims who now have to sleep in ditches? We wouldn't want harm to befall them, now would we?


:evilcool:
 
SouthernN'Proud said:
But...but...what if some of those folks are hurricane victims who now have to sleep in ditches? We wouldn't want harm to befall them, now would we?


:evilcool:
Click to expand...
If they sleep in ditches and still manage to send me chain-letters..I'd be much impressed :)
 
MrBishop said:
Hate the little fuckers too...
Especially the lovey dovey ones..the feel-good chain letters.
Click to expand...
Ooh, I hate those with a passion. Especially if they say "pass this on to a gazillion of your friends, and return it to the person who sent it to show that you care.." etc.

Fuck it. I don't care. I hate you. Go away.
 
Rob, I think, posted something like this a few years ago, I think it was on JJR's ... funny as hell ... wish I could remember .. anyone know were to find it?
 
here's the load of tripe I just got *puke*


A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
>He said...no.
>
>She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...
>and he said no.
>
>She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
>and once again he replied with a no.
>
>She had heard enough.
>
>As she walked away, tears streaming down her face
>
>The boy grabbed her arm and said...
>
>You're not pretty you're beautiful.
>
>I don't want to be with you forever.
>
>I NEED to be with you forever.
>
>And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
>
>WASN'T THAT A SWEET THOUGHT!
>
>SO NOW I WILL SAY:
>
>I like you because of who you are to me...A true friend and if I
>don't get this back I'll take the hint.
>

>Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.
>
>Something good ! will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow. It
>could be anywhere AOL, yahoo, outside of school, anywhere. Get ready
>for the biggest shock of your life. Also if you break this chain
>letter you will be cursed with 10 relationship problems for the next
>ten
>years.
>
>If you send it to 15 people in 15 min you're safe!
>Remember:
>"A good friend will come bail you out of jail... But a true
>friend will be sitting next to you saying ... DAMN THAT WAS FUN!
>
>Proud to be your Friend!
>
>Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't
>skip ahead.
>
>I've learned...That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The
>closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.
>
>I've learned...That we should be glad God doesn't give us
>everything we ask for.
>
>I've learned...That money doesn't buy class.
>
>I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make
>life so spectacular.
>
>I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to
>be appreciated and loved.
>
>I've learned...That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me
>think I can?
>
>I've learned...That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
>
>I've learned...That when you plan to get even with someone, you
>are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
>
>I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.
>
>I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a
person is
>to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
>
>I've learned...That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a
>smile.
>
>I've learned...That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with
>your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
>
>I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with
>them.
>
>I've learned...That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
>
>I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the
>ones you miss.
>
>I've learned...That when you harbor bitterness! s, happiness will dock
>elsewhere.
>
>I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I
>love them one more time before they passed away.
>
>I've learned...That one should keep his
words both soft and tender,
>because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
>
>I've learned...That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
>looks.
>
>I've learned...That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I
>do about it.
>
>I've learned...That when your newly born child holds your little finger
>in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
>
>I've learned...That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but
>all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
>
>I've learned ...That it is best to give advice in only two
>circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening
>situation.
>
>I've learned...That the less time I have to work with, the more things
>I get done.
 
Leslie said:
here's the load of tripe I just got *puke*


A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
>He said...no.
>
>She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...
>and he said no.
>
>She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
>and once again he replied with a no.
>
>She had heard enough.
>
>As she walked away, tears streaming down her face
>
>The boy grabbed her arm and said...
>
>You're not pretty you're beautiful.
>
>I don't want to be with you forever.
>
>I NEED to be with you forever.
>
>And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
>
>WASN'T THAT A SWEET THOUGHT!
>
>SO NOW I WILL SAY:
>
>I like you because of who you are to me...A true friend and if I
>don't get this back I'll take the hint.
>

>Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.
>
>Something good ! will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow. It
>could be anywhere AOL, yahoo, outside of school, anywhere. Get ready
>for the biggest shock of your life. Also if you break this chain
>letter you will be cursed with 10 relationship problems for the next
>ten
>years.
>
>If you send it to 15 people in 15 min you're safe!
>Remember:
>"A good friend will come bail you out of jail... But a true
>friend will be sitting next to you saying ... DAMN THAT WAS FUN!
>
>Proud to be your Friend!
>
>Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't
>skip ahead.
>
>I've learned...That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The
>closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.
>
>I've learned...That we should be glad God doesn't give us
>everything we ask for.
>
>I've learned...That money doesn't buy class.
>
>I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make
>life so spectacular.
>
>I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to
>be appreciated and loved.
>
>I've learned...That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me
>think I can?
>
>I've learned...That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
>
>I've learned...That when you plan to get even with someone, you
>are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
>
>I've learned...That love, not time, heals all wounds.
>
>I've learned...That the easiest way for me to grow as a
person is
>to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
>
>I've learned...That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a
>smile.
>
>I've learned...That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with
>your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
>
>I've learned...That no one is perfect until you fall in love with
>them.
>
>I've learned...That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
>
>I've learned...That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the
>ones you miss.
>
>I've learned...That when you harbor bitterness! s, happiness will dock
>elsewhere.
>
>I've learned...That I wish I could have told those I cared about that I
>love them one more time before they passed away.
>
>I've learned...That one should keep his
words both soft and tender,
>because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
>
>I've learned...That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
>looks.
>
>I've learned...That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I
>do about it.
>
>I've learned...That when your newly born child holds your little finger
>in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
>
>I've learned...That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but
>all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
>
>I've learned ...That it is best to give advice in only two
>circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening
>situation.
>
>I've learned...That the less time I have to work with, the more things
>I get done.
Click to expand...

*puke*
 
I have been known to send forwarded messages with a nice thought or message but I ALWAYS remove ANYTHING about forwarding it to others or returning it to me...I just send them for the message if I think it's a good one (but usually they get deleted...and MOST people and learned to not even send them to me)
 
unclehobart said:
Probably.. so long as you can provide a few key words to tighten the search engine up.
Click to expand...

i can't remember it was something like this one 'cept it was a sarcastic take off of the forwarded email thing .. so long ago .. wish i remembered.. it was funny as hell and i actually sent it out LOL
 
Leslie said:
here's the load of tripe I just got *puke*


A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
>He said...no.
>
>She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...
>and he said no.
>
>She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,
>and once again he replied with a no.
>
>She had heard enough.
>
>As she walked away, tears streaming down her face
>
>The boy grabbed her arm and said...
>
>You're not pretty you're beautiful.
>
>I don't want to be with you forever.
>
>I NEED to be with you forever.
>
>And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
>
>WASN'T THAT A SWEET THOUGHT!
Click to expand...
This one ALWAYS pisses me off. The girl is an overly needy bitch and the guy is an asshole who likes to fuck with people's heads... and girls forward this all the time thinking it's sweet.
 
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore.

The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick.

I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people.

I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its shit in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy "Smiles" Evans
(the boy with just a head, and a burlap sack for a body)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top