lilblakpup
New Member
i have a joke......what's the three best things about being a woman, 1.you can bury a bone (boner) without digging a hole. 2. you can bleed without cutting yourself .and 3. you can make a man come (cum) without calling him 
post a joke
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PrincessLissa
New Member
Why did the elephant buy tennies?
Cause the elevenies were too big.
HA HA!! I'm a dork.
Cause the elevenies were too big.
HA HA!! I'm a dork.
peterska2
New Member
This newly-married couple, Bob and Betty Hill are honeymooning in Transylvania. They are driving along a lonely country road when their car crashes. Betty is unconcious, but Bob, although badly injured, manages to drag her out. In the distance, as darkness falls, he sees this castle on top of a hill.
With the wolves (didn't I mention the wolves?) howling in the distance, he manages to carry Betty to to the castle door and rings the bell.
The door opens and an a very scarey looking servant appears and says, "Yeth, what can I do for you?". Bob explains that they need medical help and the servant summons his master, the Count.
The Count appears and says, "Igor, (didn't I say the servant was called Igor?), Igor, to the cellars with them. Igor takes them to the cellars, places them on the operating tables and the Count gets to work.
But (sob!), it is all to no avail. They both stop breathing. The Count is distraught. "Igor," he says, "I have failed. I must away to play on my organ!" (Any jokes at this stage are so old as to be, well, old.)
So, the Count staggers off and Igor is left in the cellar with the two bodies. After a while he begins to hear, louder and louder, the strains of an organ being passionately played.
Suddenly he notices that Bob's arm is starting moving. Then he sees Betty's eyes opening and she begins to breathe.
Igor rushes upstairs to where the Count is playing. "Master, master." he says, "The Hills are alive to the sound of music!"
With the wolves (didn't I mention the wolves?) howling in the distance, he manages to carry Betty to to the castle door and rings the bell.
The door opens and an a very scarey looking servant appears and says, "Yeth, what can I do for you?". Bob explains that they need medical help and the servant summons his master, the Count.
The Count appears and says, "Igor, (didn't I say the servant was called Igor?), Igor, to the cellars with them. Igor takes them to the cellars, places them on the operating tables and the Count gets to work.
But (sob!), it is all to no avail. They both stop breathing. The Count is distraught. "Igor," he says, "I have failed. I must away to play on my organ!" (Any jokes at this stage are so old as to be, well, old.)
So, the Count staggers off and Igor is left in the cellar with the two bodies. After a while he begins to hear, louder and louder, the strains of an organ being passionately played.
Suddenly he notices that Bob's arm is starting moving. Then he sees Betty's eyes opening and she begins to breathe.
Igor rushes upstairs to where the Count is playing. "Master, master." he says, "The Hills are alive to the sound of music!"
MuFu
New Member
Warning - GEEK HUMOUR
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run toxic waste pipelines through a recreational area?"
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run toxic waste pipelines through a recreational area?"
Inkara1
Well-Known Member
There's a sixteen-year-old girl who's pregnant. She talks with her doctor, trying to decide what to do. She's in no position to take care of the kid, but she doesn't want to get an abortion. So the doctor tells her to keep the baby until it's born, and then they'll unload it on someone else in the hospital and tell her that her real problem was that she was pregnant.
So a few months later, the girl gives birth, but the only other patient in the hospital is a Catholic priest, and he's in there for gallbladder surgery. So the doctor paces the hallway, trying to decide what to do. Eventually, he decides to give it a try.
So when the priest wakes up, the doctor walks in with the baby and says to him, "it turns out you were pregnant; here's the kid." The priest looks at him funny, but then decides that this must be a sign from God. So, he takes the kid home and raises it.
Years later, the priest is on his death bed and he calls his son in the room.
Son," he says, "there's something I've been keeping from you all these years. I'm not really your father. The bishop is your father."
So a few months later, the girl gives birth, but the only other patient in the hospital is a Catholic priest, and he's in there for gallbladder surgery. So the doctor paces the hallway, trying to decide what to do. Eventually, he decides to give it a try.
So when the priest wakes up, the doctor walks in with the baby and says to him, "it turns out you were pregnant; here's the kid." The priest looks at him funny, but then decides that this must be a sign from God. So, he takes the kid home and raises it.
Years later, the priest is on his death bed and he calls his son in the room.
Son," he says, "there's something I've been keeping from you all these years. I'm not really your father. The bishop is your father."
