Quick jokes - enjoy!

MrBishop

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
A man marries a deaf girl. He mimes: "let's make a code: if I want sex,
I will squeeze your breast.

In response, you can pull my penis once for Yes, and 50 times for No"

=======================

John asks his grandpa: "Do you still have sex with Granny?"

Grandpa says: "Yes, but only Oral".

John says: "what is oral?"

Grandpa: "I say Fuck you, and she says: Fuck you too"

=====================

The 3 tragedies in a man's life:


1- Life sucks

2- Job sucks

3- Wife does NOT!

===================

A man is dying of cancer.

His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??".
Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to sleep with your
mother."

===================

"I am your Doctor. sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem.
Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing
right in it, and the right has nothing left in it"

===================

Question: "what's the similarity between a good-looking, faithful, rich
husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?"

Answer: "BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND"

========================
 
A man is dying of cancer.

His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??".
Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to sleep with your
mother."

that's not funny....that's hateful and moronic...sorry if i forgot my sense of humor in the bed this morning.
 
It is wrong. But oh so funny. :D


*hugs for Tonks*


Thanks for sharing, Bish. I love the brain one!
 
John asks his grandpa: "Do you still have sex with Granny?"

Grandpa says: "Yes, but only Oral".

John says: "what is oral?"

Grandpa: "I say Fuck you, and she says: Fuck you too"
Click to expand...

Yup - that's what comes after the SOS phase.... :rolleyes:
 
AlphaTroll said:
Yup - that's what comes after the SOS phase.... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

It's also the punchline for another of my fav jokes.

There are three stages of married sex
1) House-sex - You have sex in every room in the house, and every position posible
2) Bedroom sex - You've been married for a few years and sex is something for the bedroom only
3) Hallway sex - You've been married at least 7 years and sex involves screaming FUCK YOU!! to each other as you pass in the hallway. :)
 
tonks said:
A man is dying of cancer.

His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS??".
Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to sleep with your
mother."

that's not funny....that's hateful and moronic...sorry if i forgot my sense of humor in the bed this morning.
Click to expand...

It's tough to be humerous without breaking socialy accepteable morals...isn't that what makes jokes funny? Sorry t'have pissed ya off Tonksy! :kiss:
 
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