Religious Marriage vs. JoP Marriage vs. Common-law vs. Shacking up
- Thread starter MrBishop
- Start date
MrBishop
Well-Known Member
The priest that I work for put it best "Priests don't marry people...people marry each other."
The marriage is only as strong or as weak as the two people who form that union. There is no magic in the ceremony which brings that Love, commitment, trust, honesty. into the relationship, if it isn't there in the first place.
The marriage is only as strong or as weak as the two people who form that union. There is no magic in the ceremony which brings that Love, commitment, trust, honesty. into the relationship, if it isn't there in the first place.
ResearchMonkey
Well-Known Member
All three are similar but they are varying degrees of accountability and personal responsibility.
Marriage: I am testifying to commit myself and my life, both legally and spiritually, to you witnessed before God, my family, and the community.
I have a very degree of certainty in my choice.
JoP and civil union:: I am testifying to commit myself and my life legally, to you witnessed before my family, and the community.
I have a degree of certainty in my choice.
Common Law: It has worked for the last seven(?) years, I we may as well consider ourselves married. Every one accepts that we are married with out making the actual commitment to the world.
I like what has transpired. I have confidence that it will work out, but I am not willing socially, publicly testify and be held accountable to the rite of legal or spiritual marriage. I am satisfied with out further commitment.
Shacking up:She cooks, cleans, does my laundry and likes to fuck like a banshee, . . .so why not? I rarely testify that she is my girlfriend, I sometimes refer to her as my roommate.
I have limited confidence if there is future, I certainly don’t want to make commitment that will last a life time. Given time it will become CL-marriage or I can make the publicly state my intentions in the future.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
NOT meaning that any case produces more love than another.
Several traditional social factors: Honorable declaration of intent. Confidence of choice. Altruistic nature of publicly vowing dedication to another for the rest of your life.
The values of you and your choice of mate will decree what is important to you resulting in your choice.
For many people the highest honor of their life is when someone publicly states their intentions of unconditionally dedicating their life to you.
Marriage: I am testifying to commit myself and my life, both legally and spiritually, to you witnessed before God, my family, and the community.
I have a very degree of certainty in my choice.
JoP and civil union:: I am testifying to commit myself and my life legally, to you witnessed before my family, and the community.
I have a degree of certainty in my choice.
Common Law: It has worked for the last seven(?) years, I we may as well consider ourselves married. Every one accepts that we are married with out making the actual commitment to the world.
I like what has transpired. I have confidence that it will work out, but I am not willing socially, publicly testify and be held accountable to the rite of legal or spiritual marriage. I am satisfied with out further commitment.
Shacking up:She cooks, cleans, does my laundry and likes to fuck like a banshee, . . .so why not? I rarely testify that she is my girlfriend, I sometimes refer to her as my roommate.
I have limited confidence if there is future, I certainly don’t want to make commitment that will last a life time. Given time it will become CL-marriage or I can make the publicly state my intentions in the future.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
NOT meaning that any case produces more love than another.
Several traditional social factors: Honorable declaration of intent. Confidence of choice. Altruistic nature of publicly vowing dedication to another for the rest of your life.
The values of you and your choice of mate will decree what is important to you resulting in your choice.
For many people the highest honor of their life is when someone publicly states their intentions of unconditionally dedicating their life to you.
BeardofPants
New Member
Me and the BF have "shacked up" for the last 3-4 years. We have been together almost 11 years now. I'll ask him if I scream like a "banshee".
No plans on getting married. Don't see the need. Didn't believe in it when I was 11, don't believe in it now. Just a piece of paper.
No plans on getting married. Don't see the need. Didn't believe in it when I was 11, don't believe in it now. Just a piece of paper.
I don't believe the degree of personal commitment depends on the type of union, however, it is most likely that people that are affraid to sign "just a piece of paper" are either frightened to make a mistake or they are against what society commonly expects and accepts. This can be put aside of that type of people that just don't think things clearly and they sign 2 papers in a row (marriage and divorce).
I do want to get married mainly because of 2 things, one is the legal benefits my wife would get and the second is that I believe in marriage and when I sign the paper I'll be confident of my decision.
I do want to get married mainly because of 2 things, one is the legal benefits my wife would get and the second is that I believe in marriage and when I sign the paper I'll be confident of my decision.
Take what you feel and as RM put it, testify to commit yourself and your other legally, to be witnessed before family and the community. To make it harder to say I'm bored & up and leave on a whim, knowing there be consequences at the end of the tunnel & it ain't just day down there.
A piece of paper, yes, techncally, but it's also a symbol. If you're living as married yet aren't, why not? It is only a ice of paper after all. Just think, you're selfless act will save taxpayers money when & if your spouse up & dies & during tax time. You're home will become community property.
Thanks, a penny saved is a penny earned.
A piece of paper, yes, techncally, but it's also a symbol. If you're living as married yet aren't, why not? It is only a ice of paper after all. Just think, you're selfless act will save taxpayers money when & if your spouse up & dies & during tax time. You're home will become community property.
Thanks, a penny saved is a penny earned.