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Rabbi Offers Prayer for Web Porn Browsers

Jan 21, 8:24 am ET
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli rabbi has composed a prayer to help devout Jews overcome guilt after visiting porn web sites while browsing the Internet.

"Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work..., so that I shall be able to cleanse myself (of sin)," reads the benediction by Shlomo Eliahu, chief rabbi in the northern town of Safed.

Eliahu, quoted by Israel's largest daily newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth, said he had responded to a deluge of queries from Orthodox Jews worried that the lure of Internet sex sites was putting family relationships at risk.

The rabbi recommends that Jews recite the prayer when they log on to the Internet or even program it to flash up on their computer screens so they are spiritually covered whether they enter a porn site intentionally or by mistake.
 
This whole not smoking thing is just killing me....there are 10,000 jokes trying to get out but they can't with the lack of nicotine lubrication.
 
Wait, here comes one, something about tuna & kosher....aw, hell, it died on the vine. *must keep trying*
 
"Dear god, help me supress my sexual urges of a healthy red blooded man with this utterly stupid prayer because I am too much of a moron to actually recite this retarded prayer in the first place. Give me strength to deny that which makes me human and the strength to let me listen to someone who has lost his mind.

Dear lord I am too much not of a man to discipline myself while allowing my self hedonistic pleasures. Dear lord I know this is hard for you to hear without laughing but give me the strength to keep my Johnson down
AND GIVE ME THE FORTITUDE TO SMOTE THE URGES THAT MY WIFE REFUSES TO FULLFILL.

Amen.



P.S My kid has been listening to heavy metal lately, help me supress his urges of free will and his notions of autonomy.

Amen."
 
dear lord please make porn free and find me more than 3 girls who like it. and oh yea dont make me supress my carnal nature lord. its part of who i am
 
The rabbi recommends that Jews recite the prayer when they log on to the Internet or even program it to flash up on their computer screens so they are spiritually covered whether they enter a porn site intentionally or by mistake.
Click to expand...

talk about religious hyprocisy....
 
I don't think so, Shadow. The Rabbi is making a leap of faith that some/many will see the prayer & subsequently choose not to go to the porn site.
 
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