SexyBoo
Well-Known Member
It has been a rough day and I really need to just get it all off of my chest.
I've been seeing someone who is married - and it really has not been going well. Of course, that is often to be expected with that type of situation. Despite the fact that I know that, I have not been able to end the relationship because I love this man more than I have ever loved another person in my entire life. He can't decide what he wants to do - but I feel pretty certain that he will never leave his wife, despite their numerous problems. I probably deserve this for ending up in an affair in the first place.
On top of relationship issues, I really hate my job. It is extremely stressful and I have a pretty hypocritical boss. The problem is, I need my job and have been unable to find something else in my field that will pay enough for me to live off of.
But, I finally thought that I saw a ray of hope this week. My boyfriend and I are co-workers, and he has decided to resign. His job is worse than mine - not only does our boss ride him and criticize, but he is also watched by our whole facility and criticized if things do not go right. He gets a good salary for this (like $15,000 more than mine), but it just became too much for him. As much as I would miss him, I kind of saw this as my "sign", as well as finally my way to end the relationship because we would most likely not see each other any more unless real effort was made. It would be difficult, but I just planned to not really keep in touch or something like that. I guess I just hoped that that absence in my life would help me forget how much I love him.
Unfortunately, life just does not ever work out as you plan. After he announced his resignation, my boss called me in and has now given me a large portion of my bf's section to run - with no additional pay. I'm not angry with him - he is just doing what is best for him - but I just don't know if I can handle this. But I also can't tell my boss no without risk of losing my job or jeopardizing my future career.
I know all of this may not sound like much when compared to many other's situations - but this is almost more than I can take. I was already depressed-and now I just wish that I could just pass away in my sleep or get into a fatal car accident - just to get away from this horrible job and finally be over my feelings for this man. I would give anything to find a job in my field that pays enough-and get over my feelings for him enough to remain friends - but it just doesn't seem like anything has been going my way for the past couple of years.
Thank you for listening to me rant and whine. I just really needed someone to share with.
I've been seeing someone who is married - and it really has not been going well. Of course, that is often to be expected with that type of situation. Despite the fact that I know that, I have not been able to end the relationship because I love this man more than I have ever loved another person in my entire life. He can't decide what he wants to do - but I feel pretty certain that he will never leave his wife, despite their numerous problems. I probably deserve this for ending up in an affair in the first place.
On top of relationship issues, I really hate my job. It is extremely stressful and I have a pretty hypocritical boss. The problem is, I need my job and have been unable to find something else in my field that will pay enough for me to live off of.
But, I finally thought that I saw a ray of hope this week. My boyfriend and I are co-workers, and he has decided to resign. His job is worse than mine - not only does our boss ride him and criticize, but he is also watched by our whole facility and criticized if things do not go right. He gets a good salary for this (like $15,000 more than mine), but it just became too much for him. As much as I would miss him, I kind of saw this as my "sign", as well as finally my way to end the relationship because we would most likely not see each other any more unless real effort was made. It would be difficult, but I just planned to not really keep in touch or something like that. I guess I just hoped that that absence in my life would help me forget how much I love him.
Unfortunately, life just does not ever work out as you plan. After he announced his resignation, my boss called me in and has now given me a large portion of my bf's section to run - with no additional pay. I'm not angry with him - he is just doing what is best for him - but I just don't know if I can handle this. But I also can't tell my boss no without risk of losing my job or jeopardizing my future career.
I know all of this may not sound like much when compared to many other's situations - but this is almost more than I can take. I was already depressed-and now I just wish that I could just pass away in my sleep or get into a fatal car accident - just to get away from this horrible job and finally be over my feelings for this man. I would give anything to find a job in my field that pays enough-and get over my feelings for him enough to remain friends - but it just doesn't seem like anything has been going my way for the past couple of years.
Thank you for listening to me rant and whine. I just really needed someone to share with.
oh, boo, i'm so sorry hun. maybe it's just time to let go...and time to tell your boss you want more money....don't let it get you down...if you let it kill your spirit you might as well be dead...and i'm here if you need me.
I know what it feels like to love someone so much you think irrationally.
