So I met a boy...

[quick version]

Who said anything about trust and confidence? That's a major part of the problem to start with..

If you kiss a supermodel, it's good because she's damn hot. If you kiss your wife/etc, it's damn great because you love her. Are you going to refuse to ever ride in a BMW because Ferraris are so much more exhilerating?
 
[long version]

I won't deny that kissing and making love feels great when you do it with someone you "really care about". That doesn't mean though that it feels bad when it's someone you know a little less well. Or less emotionally - the best sexual partners, in my experience, are your close friends.

I know people have different "moral standards" concerning this. But there's a obvious difference between remnants of 17th century sexual repression and free-thinking sexual liberation. Yeah your standards are different but that's because you've grown up in a society where girls are sluts if they sleep with more than one guy in the same month. A society where girls think they can trust guys more if they think like you do. A society where girls are taught that sex is evil and that guys are out to get them.

Say to yourself 1,000 times over, SEX IS NOT EVIL.
And then SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE. Sure it's great when it's someone you love but it's still good when it isn't. Letting yourself believe that it's all about love is condemning yourself and your children to continue the legacy of sexual repression.
 
a13antichrist said:
[quick version]

Who said anything about trust and confidence?
Click to expand...

Analogy.

a13 said:
Say to yourself 1,000 times over, SEX IS NOT EVIL.
And then SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE. Sure it's great when it's someone you love but it's still good when it isn't.
Click to expand...

I've never said sex is evil.
I'm sure it is great without love, but it doesn't work for me that way anymore.
 
a13antichrist said:
[long version]

I won't deny that kissing and making love feels great when you do it with someone you "really care about". That doesn't mean though that it feels bad when it's someone you know a little less well. Or less emotionally - the best sexual partners, in my experience, are your close friends.

I know people have different "moral standards" concerning this. But there's a obvious difference between remnants of 17th century sexual repression and free-thinking sexual liberation. Yeah your standards are different but that's because you've grown up in a society where girls are sluts if they sleep with more than one guy in the same month. A society where girls think they can trust guys more if they think like you do. A society where girls are taught that sex is evil and that guys are out to get them.

Say to yourself 1,000 times over, SEX IS NOT EVIL.
And then SEX HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE. Sure it's great when it's someone you love but it's still good when it isn't. Letting yourself believe that it's all about love is condemning yourself and your children to continue the legacy of sexual repression.
Click to expand...


nobody on here said its evil nor did anyone say women are sluts if they sleep with more than one person. simply that there are different moral standards. people see things differently.
 
And the problem is that for too many people, moral standards are defined by the society you live in, simply because most people are incapable of figuring things out for themselves. Differing moral standards aren't the cause, they're the result.
 
It's society that creates morals. In certain societies e.g. Islamic, having a child before marriage is a sin punishable by death, whereas in others (parts africa for instance) it is confirmation of a womans fertility. Same situation different morality.
 
morals come more from the way people are raised and they way they think. as ive said before everyone is different. some people see things one way others see it differently. id like to see a society that can accept other ideas but it proably wont happen. i will be totally honest in terms of the term slut or player. they both make me sick. there is a reason for that. not everyone who isnt fulfilled in a monogamous relationship can stay in it(even if they really care about the person) they will need some kind of fulfilment. if both parties understand and accept it i say go for it. it mght not be socailly acceptable(the whole macho male chauvanist pig comes to mind here) or it is looked at wrong.
 
Who said anything about being in a monogamous relationship? If you're not fulfilled in it then you should have enough balls to get out of it. Can't think of many things more "duh" than that.

Personally, I LIKE "sluts". Because I know that the chances of that girl being a neurotically repressed wimper-wangler are so much smaller.

AuntyEm said:
It's society that creates morals.
Click to expand...

This is one of my biggest objections. It's only society that defines your morals if you're incapable of thinking for yourself in order to determine what you believe to be the correct set of morals for you. Society should only determine how the people around you react to your particular choice of morals - but since they're your own particular morals, you don't give a shit whether they're pleasing people or causing them to called the local reverend to denounce the evil spirit that's infected you.
 
a13antichrist said:
This is one of my biggest objections. It's only society that defines your morals if you're incapable of thinking for yourself in order to determine what you believe to be the correct set of morals for you. Society should only determine how the people around you react to your particular choice of morals - but since they're your own particular morals, you don't give a shit whether they're pleasing people or causing them to called the local reverend to denounce the evil spirit that's infected you.
Click to expand...

Bravo, now if you could understand that my moral set was determined by me rather than by society then we would agree completely ;)
 
a13antichrist said:
Who said anything about being in a monogamous relationship? If you're not fulfilled in it then you should have enough balls to get out of it. Can't think of many things more "duh" than that.

Personally, I LIKE "sluts". Because I know that the chances of that girl being a neurotically repressed wimper-wangler are so much smaller.



This is one of my biggest objections. It's only society that defines your morals if you're incapable of thinking for yourself in order to determine what you believe to be the correct set of morals for you. Society should only determine how the people around you react to your particular choice of morals - but since they're your own particular morals, you don't give a shit whether they're pleasing people or causing them to called the local reverend to denounce the evil spirit that's infected you.
Click to expand...



he is not so evil!
 
I'm not sure if "moral" is the right word here. If you consider natural law that define life as the prime value and moral as anything pro life, then the example of the death peanalty for the single pregnancy is against moral, no matter what the law of the society is.
 
I read most of the posts....but

I don;t care if other people want to share thier bodies with every person they come across, that is thier deal not mine. I just don't like to give myself to someone who doesn't want to be apart of me. Those are my morals that I follow. Doesn;t mean that anyone else has to.
 
PrincessLissa said:
I don;t care if other people want to share thier bodies with every person they come across,
Click to expand...

Didn't say that either. Your criteria for choosing a taxi to get to the airport aren't the same as those for choosing a car for your family. If they were you'd never get anywhere...
 
a13antichrist said:
And if I don't consider that natural law defines life as the prime value? :)
Click to expand...
That's what was defined as natural law. Because in the end what matter is to survive. Survival of the species then the individual. I think that was the criterium adopted. Just for record are you saying you don't believe life is the highest value or are you just throwing a point there? If it's the former I would like to know what is more important for you...
 
Here are some silly pics of me and the boi.

We were a little intoxicated and it is all hot in there so my hair looks like poo.
 
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