Teens and rights of passage.

[Aunty Em]

The teenage years are a time when kids are establishing their own identity away from that of their parents and it often involves things like music and fashions which their parents don't approve of. But what happens when the parents are very open-minded and totally outrageous themselves? Do kids suddenly become very straight-laced, get religion and go around in shirts and ties or do they get even more outrageous themselves? I'm curious.?(

 

[HomeLAN]

I've seen it happen that way.

Basically, from my experience, kids either go the same way their parents are, or the exact opposite. No in-between.

 

[Gonz]

isn't that the purpose of being a "straight-laced fuddy dud" parent? Keep the leash real tight & when they do stray, it ain't as far as when you smoke pot with them.

*anxiously awaitin my sons 18th birthday when MY shackles will be unbound*

 

[Q]

*anxiously awaitin my sons 18th birthday when MY shackles will be unbound*

You better kick back and fire up a fattie Daddy-o....you got a ways to go

 

[dan]

But what happens when the parents are very open-minded and totally outrageous themselves?

For a case study check out The Osbournes

My parents weren't exactly what you'd call outrageous, but pretty much let me do whatever I wanted when I was a teen. Course that may have been because my mum had three other kids to look out for and I seemed to be able to take care of myself. But hey, I managed to get by unpierced, untatood and not addicted to anything.

I'd say that if the parents have got core values ingrained enough into the kids, by the time they get to teenhood they're bound to come out okay at the end. (assuming they don't meet some particularly charismatic crack addict!)

 

[Jeslek]

I pretty much did what I wanted to do, still do, and respect them. I don't play music too loud, and I don't dress like a jackass. I know they won't approve of all I do, but I don't tell them that... no need for that.

 

[CS]

pot 'ed. mweeeh!

 

[dan]

pot 'ed. mweeeh!

[00:28] daniel says:
are you drunk?
[00:28] daniel says:
you sound drunk
[00:28] NICK says:
wooh wooh!

which i think says it all really...

 

[Altron]

lol I don't act like my parents
I act like my uber cool uncle. Almost exactly like him, same taste in music, same interests and hobbies, dress the same (hawaiian flowers on plaid shorts!), even have the same birthday (March 3)

 

[Ardsgaine]

I didn't 'rebel' against my parents until I was out of the house and in my early twenties. By that time I wasn't so much rebelling against them as I was trying to break out of what I felt had become a straight jacket. I didn't like the way my life was going and I wanted to make a drastic change. After about a year and a half of it, I was ready to go back to pretty much who I was-- and am.

 

[greenfreak]

I was pretty much a good kid till the 16-20 years. I mostly drank too much, stayed out all night, only wound up in the hospital as a result once. I grew out of it though, and, like nambit, I was the fourth child so they were tired by then. My brother gave (and still gives) them more than enough grief to keep them busy.

My best friend is a 'cool Mom'. She doesn't do drugs with them or anything like that but she has a very very open relationship with her two boys. They're both straight A students, never been in trouble with the law, no piercings/tattoos... The older son actually called his Mom from college to tell her that he lost his virginity. Yes, he waited till college and no, he's not an ugly dork. He's quite good looking as a matter of fact, and he had many chances to lose it but waited.

Anyway, I don't know any other 'hip' parents. My boyfriend's parents were pretty irresponsible with him growing up but he didn't turn to a life of crime or anything. He just moved away the first chance he got.

 

[dan]

I grew out of it though, and, like nambit, I was the fourth child so they were tired by then.

well, i was the first of four... my brothers would have been 8 and 4 when i was 16, and a 14 year old sister... you can see why they'd be a tad preoccupied

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

i think i'm in-between. i <3 my parents, and i'm like them in a lot of ways. but i''ve also got that rebellious streak too...
guess i'm just a normal teenager (16, btw)

 

[Aunty Em]

My parents were dead straight and boring if you ignore the occasional wild party and my mum dancing on the table in the Sargeants Mess.

I did the usual drinking, smoking and sneaking into venues under age bit, but when I got to 18 I stopped 'cos it was no fun when it was legal. Even so I still got good grades at school. Then I started nurse training and from actually having had a very sheltered childhood grew up very suddenly and became a pillar of the community until I left nursing, well sort of, except for the motorbike, etc.

I guess I've been through some pretty crazy phases, that I should have gone through when I was 18, since then. Which is probably why I still have quite a young outlook on life and find it hard to relate to old fuddy-duddys... erm, people my own age.

I don't know, from what I've seen most kids conform to societys conditioning in the end - and then they turn into their parents. I really hope that never happens to me.

 

[freako104]

depends on the kid. ym parents were always open minded but now im a goth and i like s/m clubs. my parents always respected what i listen to although they themselves dont like all of it. i can tell my mom anything and shell be cool about it. and i can bring home any girl and mom will treat her like a daughter. my dad is cool to me and has been open minded about what im into. my mom said once ill always be her child so shell love me no mattre what. and i turned out the opposite of straight laced.

 

[karlwb]

I was a 'good lad' up to the age of about 16. Then I got a job, and with that came money. I then found my independance and that is when my relationship with my perants went down hill.

I was prety good at what I did ( still do - I.T. ) I got better jobs and more independance, I did prety much what I wanted and got the things I liked. My perants did not approve of me going out and drinking with my friends and such as 'they had done this when they were young and so it was boring' - I should do somthing else ( like stay in and be a hermit )

Then I commited the greatest of sins - I found a girl - fell in love - left home and got married and had a child of my own.

Our wedding aniversary was last week - 9 years married.

My perants can not stand the I idea that I left home - they have not spoken or seen me or their grandchild for more than two years, they have bad mouthed me as scum to the rest of the family.

 

[PT]

Had a single mother most of my teenage years, so while she was working, we were pretty well allowed free reign, as long as we didn't get arrested. That only happened once, and after that, I can't say we cleaned up any, just got a lot smarter. I've done some shit through the years, some of it I'm not very proud of now, but was proud of for a couple years after doing it. I'm alot stricter with my own kids, just to keep them away from some of the stuff that I experienced myself. Sometimes I think I'm a hypocrite for doing so, but then I tell myself that just because I turned out ok, doesn't mean that they will.

 

[unclehobart]

parent? whats a parent?

 

[freako104]

Had a single mother most of my teenage years, so while she was working, we were pretty well allowed free reign, as long as we didn't get arrested. That only happened once, and after that, I can't say we cleaned up any, just got a lot smarter. I've done some shit through the years, some of it I'm not very proud of now, but was proud of for a couple years after doing it. I'm alot stricter with my own kids, just to keep them away from some of the stuff that I experienced myself. Sometimes I think I'm a hypocrite for doing so, but then I tell myself that just because I turned out ok, doesn't mean that they will.

i wouldnt call you a hypocrite just because you seem to not want what happened to you happen to them. you dont seem to want them to have the same regrets that you seem to. thats just being a good parent. if i have kids i wouldnt want them to do drugs but ive done weed and shrooms. i wouldnt want them to cause i wouldnt want them to have any bad experiences. that shouldnt make me any more iof a hypcrite than you my friend.

 

[Ardsgaine]

I'm alot stricter with my own kids, just to keep them away from some of the stuff that I experienced myself. Sometimes I think I'm a hypocrite for doing so, but then I tell myself that just because I turned out ok, doesn't mean that they will.

Well, there are a few points to make there. One is that it's perfectly okay for a grown up to tell a child that they can't do the things adults do because they're too young to make decisions about them. Another is that just because a person has done things in the past that are wrong to do at any age doesn't mean he's a hypocrite for not wanting his kids to repeat your mistakes.

That's assuming that he believes that they were mistakes. If he were still proud of having done them and just didn't want his kids to do them because it might be inconvenient for him, that would be hypocrisy.