PrincessLissa
New Member
They say it's your birthday....na na na na na
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Arris
New Member
True story this.
One of my friends ordered a sandwich in a bar one lunchtime.
But instead of saying "pannini" he said "punani", freudian slip or what... He now says it all the time, so I try not to lunch with him all that often. It is quite funny to see the look on the waiters/waitresses face though
* wibble
One of my friends ordered a sandwich in a bar one lunchtime.
But instead of saying "pannini" he said "punani", freudian slip or what... He now says it all the time, so I try not to lunch with him all that often. It is quite funny to see the look on the waiters/waitresses face though
* wibble
Z? 
Sharky
New Member
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot.
He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it.
The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot repeats everything he hears.''
''That's alright,'' the man replied.
So the man bought the parrot and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he saw a cop chasing a robber.
The cop hollered to his partner, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
Then the parrot said, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
They kept walking and found a man who was trying to pry his car off the ground with a crowbar because his wheels had been stolen.
The man said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
They kept on walking to a carnival. A guy at a gamestand yelled, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
The parrot said, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
Then they walked into a church and sat down.
The minister was in the middle of the sermon.
He said, ''The Lord is above us.''
The parrot said, ''Shoot him down,shoot him down!''
The minister said, ''The devil is below us.''
The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up.''
Then the minister got angry and threw a bible at the parrot. The parrot ducked and the bible hit a fat lady behind him.
The parrot said,'' Hit a big one, win a prize!''
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot.
He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it.
The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot repeats everything he hears.''
''That's alright,'' the man replied.
So the man bought the parrot and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he saw a cop chasing a robber.
The cop hollered to his partner, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
Then the parrot said, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!''
They kept walking and found a man who was trying to pry his car off the ground with a crowbar because his wheels had been stolen.
The man said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!''
They kept on walking to a carnival. A guy at a gamestand yelled, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
The parrot said, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!''
Then they walked into a church and sat down.
The minister was in the middle of the sermon.
He said, ''The Lord is above us.''
The parrot said, ''Shoot him down,shoot him down!''
The minister said, ''The devil is below us.''
The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up.''
Then the minister got angry and threw a bible at the parrot. The parrot ducked and the bible hit a fat lady behind him.
The parrot said,'' Hit a big one, win a prize!''
Sharky
New Member
Parrot-Prostitutes
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and the only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and the only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"
Dave
Well-Known Member
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and becomes terribly sunburned. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns. He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, said to the doctor," What good will Viagra do for him?".
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
The nurse, rather astounded, said to the doctor," What good will Viagra do for him?".
The doctor replied, "It'll keep the sheets off his legs."
Sharky
New Member
Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping.
He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."
He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."
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