the most disgusting weekend ever

2minkey

bootlicker
girlfriend went on a girl's weekend. i vowed, simply because i could, to give up all forms of personal hygiene for the weekend, with the exception of tooth-brushing.

thursday morning was the last instance of bathing. i omitted underarm deoderant. thursday evening i was sweating a lot, having spent a good chunk of happy hour in the bright sunlight. i really started to notice my own scent.

friday i went to a party. there was lots of alcohol there. and some other things. i proceeded to drink plenty, but not to the point where i going to get sick. or so i thought. it's a good thing my friend volunteered to drive me home without delay, because if i'd waited for a cab, i would have painted it. i get home, come inside, and immediately begin to feel the urge. i run upstairs, vomiting in my own mouth in the bathroom entryway, but in a classy way, saving the main payload for porcelain. and oh did it bloom. true projectile vomiting. i was pleased with myself for aiming so well, despite the fact that my head was several feet from the toidy.

when i woke up the next morning, i didn't feel so bad. then i went into the bathroom... minor puke spray in the bathroom entry. then the toilet. not just the toilet, but everything around it - walls and all - was covered in puke, with the olive tapenade adding some nice color.

i went downstairs, thinking that i'd clean the mess up later. stumbling through the kitchen, i immediately walked through a big pile of cat puke.

after rinsing my toes, i returned to the kitchen, and felt a fart coming on. it wasn't just air. not a full dump in the pants, but some definite squishiness. i did the clench and waddle to the bathroom, and fortunately, there was no spillage outside the cheeks. thank god. if there had been, i'd have been forced to shower. i spent the rest of the day shitting my guts out.

no incidents today, but i smell like a pack of goats. it took about a half hour to clean all the puke off the upstairs bathroom. shortly, i will go shower. it may take a while.
 

Nixy

Elimi-nistrator
Staff member
I don't understand the appeal of NOT showering...I feel like crap if I don't shower. I LIKE being clean.
 

valkyrie

Well-Known Member
<snippety snip>

no incidents today, but i smell like a pack of goats. it took about a half hour to clean all the puke off the upstairs bathroom. shortly, i will go shower. it may take a while.
I have 3 goats. I'm pretty sure they smell much nicer than you do (or did if you've already showered).
 

MrBishop

Well-Known Member
Sounds like someone will be redocorating the bathroom before the gf arrives :)

It's good to let go every once in a while..I prefer doing it while camping. Being in the middle of the woods is a good excuse for not showering.
 

BeardofPants

New Member
I don't religiously shower every day ('cept summer), but even so, the thought of the grot build up is just too much to bear. This whole thread makes me shudder.
 
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