weak joke of the day

ris

ris

New Member
a depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself in the ocean.
when she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor notices her tears and took pity on her.
"look, you've got a lot to live for." he said. "i'm off to america in the
morning, and if you like, i can stow you away on my ship.
i'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
moving closer, he slipped an arm around her shoulder, winked at her and
added I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
the girl nodded. after all, what did she have to lose? that night, the
sailor brought her abroad and hid her in a lifeboat. from then on, every
night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they shagged furiously.

three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the
captain. "what are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained, "i get to go
to america, and in return he's screwing me."
"he certainly is," the captain replied,

*wait for it

























"This is the dover - calais ferry"



badum tsch :D
 
OK, this kills the joke, but since nobody understood it anyway:

By that comment I pretended it was Leslie who was in that boat...based on a true story...a story experienced by Leslie...

Of course I was just kidding, hahahaha :yell:


:blank:
 
A man goes up to the minister at the local church. "Reverend," he said,
"we have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons.
It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea. if you're up to the task," said the
minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs.
Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate
sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg
with the sharp object.

"Yes! You are correct, Mrs... Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed.
Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr.
Jones.

"My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the
minister
did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his
wife
with the hat pin yet again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam
after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones screamed, "You stick that thing in me one more time and
I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen!" replied all the women in the church.
 
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