When NEW neighbors come a calling

[samcurry]

I was just visited by and older couple that just moved into the neighborhood. I thought it was nice to have them stop by to introduce themselves.
Then they pull out the pamphlets. "do you go to church" "We go here"
"we would like to invite you" and then the "are you going to heaven"?

Man if they would not have been new to the neighborhood....
I wanted to tell them "actually I'm lucifers evil redheaded stepson"
Or that im a convicted murderer just so they would leave me alone. but i figured that would have the opposite affect.

 

[Scanty]

Oh dear.
I feel sorry for you, man.

 

[ris]

tell them gleefully you are a jehovah's witness and ask them round for tea

[apologies to any jehovah's witnesses out there but there is a reputation and all]

 

[Scanty]

I was just visited by and older couple that just moved into the neighborhood. I thought it was nice to have them stop by to introduce themselves.
Then they pull out the pamphlets. "do you go to church" "We go here"
"we would like to invite you" and then the "are you going to heaven"?

Tell them:

Yes, I do go to church.
Yes, I am going to heaven.

So there.

 

[samcurry]

I tried that scanty and they stayed longer. Shoulda pulled the goat out and banged her on the couch in front of them.

 

[Leslie]

goat LOL

the jehovah thing was a good idea

 

[ris]

nah, then they'd be all up for converting you

 

[Scanty]

Buy loads of hamster. Hundreds of hamsters and put them in cages and line them up everywhere around your house.
And get spiders too and snakes and maggots.
Tell them you keep them as pets and then every time they come around start showing them every single one, saying:
"...And this one's called Bobby, and this one's Sam, and this one's called Ned, he has a bit of wind at the moment..."

 

[greenfreak]

How about, "No thanks, I gave at the office." ??

Erm... no. That wouldn't work... How about... "If you go away now, I'll only put *one* brick through your kitchen window."?

 

[NEIL]

Bless their hearts for caring.

It is understandable. Noone wants religion pushed upon meeting. Welcome them to dinner and have bountiful satanic decorations.

 

[Scanty]

It's Neil!

Welcome, neil.

 

[Gonz]

send them my way sam

 

[NEIL]

Hi Scanty

 

[kuulani]

Once people came to my door preaching about God, and I had just come out of the shower, dripping wet in a towel. They wouldn't leave. I finally told them, "I'm a pagan who believes in 400,000 gods."

They finally left me alone.

 

[Scanty]

Mmm...salty.

 

[GOD ALMIGHTY]

I just tell them that I AM & close the door.

 

[Scanty]

I am a peanut.

 

[Lucifer]

I wanted to tell them "actually I'm lucifers evil redheaded stepson"...

You are? Hmm... I think I may need to have a word with your mother.

 

[Jeslek]

Pretty avatar. Are you aware that Lucifer means Bright One?

 

[samcurry]

Hey lucifer i believe you had more than a word with mom...