Squiggy
ThunderDick
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just says, "I'm Stupid". That
way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It
would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there
was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey,
you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes
it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his
boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ole' stringer of bass and this
idiot on the dock says, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was
a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "all
right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those !
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other
three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
says, "Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get
it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local
cop showed up to take the report. He went through his basic
questioning....ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a
sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a coworker looked at me and said "Are
you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your
sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
OK...I'll stop now...
way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It
would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there
was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey,
you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes
it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his
boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ole' stringer of bass and this
idiot on the dock says, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was
a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "all
right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those !
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other
three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
says, "Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know
I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get
it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local
cop showed up to take the report. He went through his basic
questioning....ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a
sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then
back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a coworker looked at me and said "Are
you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your
sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
OK...I'll stop now...
