why the fuck doesnt my printer work??

[BlurOfSerenity]

my printer doesnt print.
i didnt do anything to it, i just tried to print some pictures. and it wouldnt. it tricks me, and shows some screens, like the one where you pick what printer to use (even tho we've only one, the comp is convinced we have a fax machine, too.) and such, but it doesnt fucking print.
i'm getting pissed, because i wanted to make drawlings of the pictures i'd print, such as the kissing-girls picture Spirit posted, and the drive to make the drawlings comes and goes, and when i find my printer's being a dickhead, i lose that drive.
GRR.

if it's helpful to know, i've got an 'epson stylus photo 820'


i really wish justin would coem over soon, you guys have given me all this advice to fix my comp problems, but im not cool enough to know how to do any of it.


slowly but surely, all of my computer stuff is turning on me, and deciding it hates me.

fuck, my mom thinks that if a thing or two doesnt work, what good is a computer at all? she's considered getting rid of it, because it's obviously totally useless if you can't do things with image stuff.
obviously.
what ever.


ANYWAY.

help?

 

[Q]

Did you check to make sure the cable and power cord are plugged in securely?

 

[Shadowfax]

erm, any chance you could be more specific? you get messages? it starts printing but stops?
does it show up in the list?


a bit more information would be welcome

 

[Professur]

Out of ink?
Unplugged?

Hey, check this. If you right-click on the printer's icon, you get a menu containing the option "use printer offline". If that's checked, you're butt stuck. Uncheck it and you're good to go.

 

[Gonz]

Did you check to make sure the cable and power cord are plugged in securely?

maybe it's your nic

 

[catocom]

Did you check to make sure the cable and power cord are plugged in securely?

maybe it's your nic

 

[A.B.Normal]

erm, any chance you could be more specific? you get messages? it starts printing but stops?
does it show up in the list?


a bit more information would be welcome

Yep definately need more info.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

no messages, no printing at all, i dont know where the list is hiding.

aawrgh, i'll mess with it later, i guess, lol. must sleep!

 

[PT]

It doesn't work because you fucked it all up.

Seriously, it's hard to say if you don't have the error messages it's giving you. If it's not giving you any, most likely it's not hooked up right, or you need to reinstall the drivers.

 

[PT]

It doesn't work because you fucked it all up.

I'm sorry, but I've been waiting to say that to someone for over 3 years.

 

[Q]

maybe it's your nic

Doh!! I bet it's a realtek...those things are just ...evil

 

[Shadowfax]

Doh!! I bet it's a realtek...those things are just ...evil

 

[Q]

Gonz hates my nic. He blames it for everything. I bet it broke ash's printer.

 

[flavio]

Go to Start->Settings->Printers->Epson Stylus and let us know if the stuff you're trying to print is getting into the printer queue and what the status of the print jobs is if they are in there.

Also when you try to print something and select your printer does anything at all happen? Any error messages?

You might just need to uninstall/reinstall the printer.

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

14 documents in queue.

no error messages or anything.

i dont know how to uninstall or reinstall things like that, everyy time i try to, i totally screw it all up. see, that's what happens when your really-good-a-comps brother (jjr) moves out and you see him like 3 times in the past month, sometimes for not more than 10 mins.

fuck all of this.


nothing on my comp that really MATTERS seems to work. well, IE, AIM, winamp... that's really about all i use that matter.
but this shit with the printer.... that's just it, it's officially too much stuff wrong.
and too few people that have a fucking clue how to fix it. the advice is very well -- thank you -- but i can't do any of it cos i'll mess it up.

 

[AlladinSane]

Don't give up yet. You have 14 docs in queue, it may be off-line. Have you tried prof's suggestion?

 

[BlurOfSerenity]

omg!! it's on-line, and i cleared all the documents in queue, and tried to print a document.
it did the print-preview, as it should, but hadnt been doing... so i thought, "yay! tiz fixt!"
but alas.
the bar moved to show how far into the process it was, and it came and went, but nothing was printed.
so eerything seems to be working just fine, but the printer seems to've lost its mind.

 

[Inkara1]

My dad's computer and printer have an odd quirk. On the first print job after starting up the computer, you have to tell it to print like normal, then immediately hit "cancel printing" on the Lexmark control window that comes up. The window then goes away, and the printer makes a noise as though it's just turning on. Then, press "print"again and it will print like normal, and it will for all subsequent times too. Failure to follow the above steps results in a very long waiting period with no printing completed.

 

[PT]

Gotta love Lexmark.

 

[HomeLAN]

Do you have a spare cord to try between the printer and the computer? Perhaps your cord is getting a little wasted.